Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112567 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 563(@200wpm)___ 450(@250wpm)___ 375(@300wpm)
I opened my eyes. “Like I said before, I need you by my side. Nothing has changed.”
Chapter twenty-three
Lights Out
Monique
The rest of the night was laden with an emotional heaviness that hung in the room’s space like a dense fog. Lei had agreed to the deadly battle with his father—a grueling confrontation scheduled in eight short days.
The gravity of his decision—the potential outcomes and implications—left us both mute as we prepared for bed.
And I’m Leo’s honorary guest? What the fuck does that mean?
One by one, Lei and I went into the bathroom to do the usual nighttime ritual—put on pajamas, wash face, brush teeth, etc.
The whole time we did so in silence.
A few times I glanced his way. Each time, his eyes held this distant glaze over them as if he were lost in a sea of thoughts that I could never comprehend.
Once we were ready, Lei hit the light switch, casting our room into an impenetrable darkness.
Faint moonlight filtered through the window.
He got in bed and placed his back my way.
Should I say something?
Nervous, I slipped into bed and faced his way.
I surely didn’t have sleeping in the same bed with a stranger on this year’s bingo card. To be in bed with someone was such an intimate act. And here we were. . .immediate bunkmates.
This should have shot me out of my comfort zone, but I actually experienced this sense of complete relaxation being near him.
Still, minutes passed in this unnerving silence.
I struggled with what I should do.
Should I utter some word of reassurance? What did someone say to a person who had to kill their father? Hope you. . .do a good job murdering the man that gave you life? Hope you feel better when you slice your father’s neck?
I wanted to offer him solace, comfort, anything to anchor him in the violent storm that was surely brewing within him.
Unfortunately, words eluded me.
Maybe, I shouldn’t say anything at all.
I knew Lei had a world of thoughts to grapple with. Surely, he was grappling with what he would do for the battle ahead.
But his silence clawed at my heart.
After a few more quiet minutes, I wondered if he was asleep, but the steady rise and fall of his back told me otherwise.
Alright. Just check on him. That’s it. If he is fine. . .then go to sleep.
“Lei?” I whispered and reached out to touch his muscular arm.
He didn’t respond, but I felt his body tense beneath my touch.
“Are you. . . okay?”
Silence served as my only reply.
Maybe he is asleep.
Right as I began to move my hand, Lei caught my fingers, placed them right back on his arm, and then rested his hand on top of mine.
“I just. . .” I swallowed. “I just wanted to see if I can help in anyway.”
His hand—roughened probably from years of combat—squeezed mine in quiet appreciation. The warmth of his touch seeped into my skin.
His voice came out in a soft whisper. “What do you think happens after a person dies?”
Oh.
I took a deep breath, weighing the words that were about to leave my mouth. “I believe death isn’t the end, but of course I don’t know.”
He slowly rolled over to face me, forcing me to move my hand. A slant of moonlight highlighted the side of his face. “Then, you believe in heaven or something like that?”
I placed my hand on the side of me. “I’m not sure about heaven. Sometimes I think God is not a man in the sky, but more this limitless being and. . .”
“And?”
“Ours souls are eternal and maybe. . .every life we live is a new journey. But don’t take my word on it. I’m still figuring it all out.”
Lei went silent for a moment and then he sighed. “I was raised with the Chinese view of death. The belief in an afterlife, ancestors, spirits. But I’m not sure. . .not anymore. Like you said. . .I’m still figuring it out.”
I considered what he had to do in eight days and sensed his inner turmoil. “Do you think. . .it is important to know about death because of the battle?”
“Because of everything. Because of my father’s yearning to die. Because of. . .Chanel’s recent death and even Romeo’s. I wonder where they are. . .I wonder if. . .she is watching. . .”
Sadness washed over me.
Slowly, I placed my hand on his chest and felt the strong and steady beat of his heart.
Lei lowered his gaze down to my hand as it rested on his chest. “Because maybe. . .death defines how we live.”
“H-how?”
He answered, a tinge of urgency creeping into his voice. “If we believe in an afterlife, a reincarnation, or an eternal soul, it shapes our actions, our morality, and our very purpose in life. Especially, if we fear death.”
“You could be right. Our fear of death and other’s deaths could shape our lives. But maybe. . .”