Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
He handed me a sugar cookie with sparkly blue crystals on top.
“Nicky, this looks fantastic! I’d love a cookie,” I said, my heart squeezing at his pride and Finn’s kindness. I knew all about baking with six-year-olds, and it was not for the faint of heart.
Anxiety still had my stomach in a knot, acid bubbling at the scent of sugar. I wasn’t sure how I would force myself to eat or drink anything, but I wasn’t going to disappoint Nicky.
I glanced at Finn, who watched us with assessing eyes.
“You and Nicky made cookies?” I asked, tears threatening at the warmth in his eyes as he looked over at Nicky.
“He’s a good baker,” Finn said. “Patient and careful.” His mouth quirked. “Even if he does sample way too much cookie dough.”
Nicky giggled again. “Mr. Finn said cookies weren’t that hard, so I asked if I could try. And he said sure. So we made cookies. We’re going to try chocolate chip next—”
“I thought you would have done chocolate chip first,” my mother commented. “Those are your favorite.”
Nicky nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Mr. Finn says he has a great recipe for chocolate chip cookies. But then he said he had colored sugar sprinkles, and I wanted to see those, so we decided on sugar cookies. See? I did some in blue and some in green. We ate all the gold. It was sparkly. I did mine with gold and red, and it looked like the fireworks from summer.” Nicky grinned and shoved another cookie in his mouth.
My mother slid a teacup in front of me, and my stomach turned over again. I wasn’t ready for more tea. I took a small sip and picked up a cookie, taking a bite. Sugar melted over my tongue and went straight to my brain.
“It’s wonderful,” I said, trying to reassure myself.
Nicky was fine. He was in our home, safe and happy. I wasn’t sure how to feel about this little domestic scene. Finn baking with Nicky, my mother watching them and drinking tea. I wanted to wrap myself in the comfort of it all.
Shouldn’t I be wary? I was sleeping with Finn, and he was spending time with my son. But we weren’t dating, and this wasn’t about me. Finn wasn’t sucking up to Nicky to get to me. Finn didn’t suck up to anyone, and he already had me. The only reason he’d make cookies with Nicky was because he wanted to, and that had my emotions all over the place. I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep, to turn off the world and pretend today never happened.
During a break in Nicky’s chatter about his school day, my mother reached out to cover my hand with hers. “Do you want to tell me about your day?”
I shook my head, raising pleading eyes to her knowing ones. “Not right now. We can talk about it later, but not right now.”
Her head tipped to the side as she studied me. She might have been thinking, or she might have been using her X-ray mom-vision. Either way, she ended up at the right conclusion. And the wrong one. “You went into Asheville?”
I nodded.
She squeezed my fingers. “Good. It was about time.”
I knew she thought I’d been to see a lawyer. She’d reminded me a few times lately to get moving on that. I didn’t tell her what I’d actually been doing in Asheville. I would. Later. I didn’t want to talk about it yet. I couldn’t. I’d fall apart, and I couldn’t bear the idea of falling apart. Not now. Later. I just needed to catch my breath. Get rid of this headache, relax, and think without panicking.
“We can talk later,” I said again. “I’m exhausted, and I have a headache. I’m just not up for it right now.”
“When you’re ready, you know where to find me, love bug.”
Another rush of tears hit my eyes, and I blinked them away. “Love you, Mom,” I whispered.
“Love you too, baby,” she whispered back. I could tell she wasn’t satisfied, but she was willing to give me space. One of the many, many reasons I loved my mother.
I expected Finn to pry, but he let it go, his eyes thoughtful as they watched me. And then I realized that he hadn’t given up. He was just biding his time.
I got to work on the evening chores, got Nicky down, and was just settling into the couch with my thoughts when, as he had every night for more than a week, Finn showed up at the cottage, letting himself in with the key I’d given him.
I was in my robe, face washed, teeth brushed, half convinced I was going to tell Finn I didn’t want to have sex, I just wanted to go to bed. Then Finn walked through the door, his dark hair sliding in his moss green eyes, those perfect fucking shoulders stretching his t-shirt just the right way, and all I wanted was sex.