Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“Everything okay?” Kira asks, noticing that I’ve gone quiet.
“Yeah,” I choke out. “Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Baby brain is the worst,” Kira agrees with a dramatic shiver as I pull my phone out to text Joanne and my dad to see if either of them is up for a visit.
Maybe we can visit Nate’s family this weekend or next and then my dad. Soon, I’ll be too far along to go anywhere, so I want to get the visits in while I can. Ana’s right. Life is too short, and I don’t want to waste a moment.
Me: Hey, Joanne! I was thinking about asking Nate if he wants to make a trip to Dallas to visit you guys. Let me know if/when you’re up for company.
Before I click out of the thread to send my dad a text, Joanne responds.
We are always up for company! But we’re actually out of town this weekend.
Immediately following her text is a picture of her holding the most adorable onesie that reads Please pass me to grandma with a huge smile on her face.
The thought that my mom will never meet her grandson nearly takes the breath out of me, and before I know what’s happening, tears are spilling down my cheeks.
I’m pregnant, and my mom is gone. She’ll never hold her grandson, and he’ll never know who she is. No matter how much I tell him about her, show him our scrapbooks, he’ll never know her. He won’t get to experience her comforting hugs and listen to her words of wisdom.
“Paige, what’s wrong?” Ana asks, getting up and coming around to me.
“I just…I really miss my mom,” I whisper, grabbing a napkin to dab my eyes. “She’s never going to meet my son. And Joanne is so sweet, and we’re going to be living four hours away. What if I made the wrong decision?” I blurt out through a sob, looking up at Ana and then Kira. “What if living here is the wrong choice?”
I was so stuck on putting myself first that I didn’t consider how my decision would affect my son. Sure, I have my home and job and friends, who I love like family, but we have no actual family here.
“Only you can decide that,” Ana says gently. “I loved London, but I knew the moment I stepped into Julian’s house that I was home. Only you know where home feels like for you.”
“It’s here,” I say. “It has to be. This is where my job is and where you guys are, and I bought a house here. And what if Nate and I don’t work out? I don’t know anything about Dallas.”
With every word spoken, my heart pumps faster as a panic attack quickly surfaces. It’s hard to catch my breath, and as I try to suck in air, my vision starts to get fuzzy.
“Hey,” Ana says, wrapping her arms around me. “Breathe, Paige. Breathe.”
I do as she said, focusing on one breath at a time.
“That’s it. Just breathe,” she repeats until I’ve gotten my breathing under control and my vision is clear.
“You don’t have to figure anything out now,” Ana says. “And you aren’t required to live anywhere.”
“This is where my job and house are,” I point out.
“So?” Ana shakes her head. “You can always find a new job—or hell, be a stay-at-home mom like Kira. And if you want to live in Dallas, you can easily sell your house here or keep it. And if you think moving four hours away would keep Kira and me away, you’re crazy.” She laughs. “I mean, what’s the point of having a private jet if I can’t use it, right? An hour, tops, and I’m to you, or vice versa.”
I laugh, loving how positive my best friend is.
“And do you really think Nate is going anywhere?” Kira chimes in. “I’ve only met him a few times, but even I could see how in love with you he is.”
“Oh, for sure,” Ana agrees. “Just take it one day at a time. You’ll know what the right move is when you know. It might be days from now or weeks or months. But no matter what you decide or when, you have so many people in your corner even if it means they’re a plane ride away.”
I sniffle back my sobs and wipe under my eyes, hoping I put on waterproof mascara today.
“Thank you,” I tell them both. “It all just feels like a lot right now.”
“I get it,” Kira says. “Moving to another state was the hardest thing I’d ever done. But I’ll never regret it because it meant meeting and falling in love with Ryder and Addie. But that doesn’t mean the journey was easy.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “We’re all here for you though.”