Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
You need to take things slow, I remind myself. Just because you’re ready to hit the pavement running doesn’t mean Paige is.
“My eyes are up here.” Paige says it in a serious tone, but her eyes are filled with mirth.
“I can’t help it,” I say, extending my hand with the flowers I picked up on my way here. “You look gorgeous.”
Blush tints her cheeks, and I can’t help but smile, loving that I still affect her.
“Thank you.”
She takes the bouquet from me and brings them up to her nose to inhale the scent. Since they’re already in a vase, she sets them on the foyer table without inviting me in, and then we head out in my rental to the restaurant where I made a reservation.
I’m not familiar with the area, but after doing some research, I found a small Italian restaurant with good reviews. Not wanting to be disturbed, I booked us a private booth.
The drive to the restaurant is filled with small talk, neither of us mentioning the baby. Paige tells me about work and how everyone is buzzing with excitement about the partnership, and I fill her in on what I’ve been up to since I got back from London. It feels natural, light, similar to the way it felt in London. Like, even though we barely know each other, we’re comfortable with one another.
I’m hoping the vibe continues once we sit down for dinner, but the second the waiter walks away after dropping off our drinks, Paige gets straight down to business.
“I know my being pregnant is a shock to you,” she begins after taking a sip of her water, “but I want you to know that you have options.”
“Options?”
She can’t possibly be talking about what I think she is.
“Yes,” she says, straightening herself like she’s in a business meeting instead of discussing something as intimate as her having my baby. “If you don’t want to be a dad, I won’t force you to be one. I know firsthand what happens when a man is forced, and that’s the last thing I want for my baby.”
Her hand goes protectively to her stomach, and before I can respond, she continues, “When I was fourteen, right before my mom chose to stop her chemo treatments, I found out that my dad never wanted me.” She says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s a speech she rehearsed. “Apparently, Mom always wanted to be a mom, so my dad gave in to what she wanted. After she died, he barely spoke a single word to me.”
She swallows thickly—the first emotion she’s shown since she started talking. “He moved us from place to place, and then one day, he found another woman and started a new family with her…one he actually wanted.”
Up until now, she was doing a good job at holding in her emotions, but when her voice cracks on the last few words, I know she’s more affected by what her dad did than she wants me to believe.
“Paige,” I say, in shock at the turn of events because this isn’t at all how I saw this conversation going.
“Please,” she pleads, “let me get this out. That’s why we’re here—to discuss the baby—and you should know where I stand before you make a decision.”
I sigh in frustration but nod for her to continue. I hate what’s coming out of her mouth, but maybe I need to hear it all so I know where she’s coming from, and then I can assure her that I’m nothing like her dad.
“I only saw my dad a couple of times after I left home, and then, after college, I moved to London, hoping to be closer to my mom. I wanted to feel that magic,” she says, smiling sadly. “But as you know, I couldn’t feel it. I felt like I was alone in this world. My mom had given up, my dad didn’t want me, and John didn’t want to settle down.”
At the mention of her ex, my jaw clenches, but I keep my mouth shut, letting her get this all out.
“I’ve watched my friends fall in love and start families, and I wanted that,” she admits with a watery smile that does shit to my insides because how this woman doesn’t see what I see blows my mind and fuck everyone who made her feel like this.
“All I wanted was to be enough.” She sniffles back a sob, and it takes everything in me not to move to the other side of the table and pull her into my arms. “To be enough for my mom to want to live. For my dad to want to be my dad. For John, who I gave my heart to, and in return, he cheated on me.”
She bursts out with a humorless laugh, and it shatters my heart because while I knew what John had done fucked with her head and heart, I didn’t know how deep her insecurities ran.