Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“That’s not fair,” Mom cries, her sobs getting louder as my heart cracks in my chest. “I can’t fight anymore. I’m too tired and weak, and I don’t want to spend what’s left of my life fighting. I just want to be happy for the little bit of time I have left.”
Oh my God…
My mom is going to leave me.
My dad never wanted me.
Where does that leave me?
I’ve always been closer with my mom, but I thought it was because my dad works long hours. He’s a pilot, and he’s gone a lot while my mom doesn’t work and has always been home with me, so it makes sense that Mom and I are closer. But I never knew that my dad didn’t want me. He’s older than my mom by twelve years. She always jokes that he’s an old man, and he always says she has a thing for older men.
He was between flights when they met at a bar, and they hit it off. Within a few weeks, they were married, and soon after, I came along. I once asked Mom why I didn’t have any siblings, and she said I was so perfect that they didn’t want any more kids. But now, it sounds like it’s because my dad gave in to her wanting me despite him not wanting to have a family.
I think back to all our memories, the birthdays, the family trips. My dad has told me more times than I can count that he loves me and is proud of me.
Was it all a lie?
When I get back to my room, I close my door softly so they don’t know I’m home, and I bury my face into my pillow as I cry.
My mom, my best friend, is giving up and letting the cancer win. She’s going to leave me, and when she does, I’ll be left alone because the only other person in my life never wanted me to begin with.
Later that night, Mom finds me in my room, but I pretend I’m asleep and stay there until the next morning, wanting to prolong the devastating news I know is coming.
She has chosen to stop the treatments.
She has six months, if she’s lucky, to live.
I want to ask her why I’m not enough for her to want to fight for her life, but instead, I tell her I love her and that everything will be okay, knowing that it won’t be.
We spend the next several months making the most of our time together. Dad takes shorter flights, and we spend time together as a family. We visit all the best spots in London, and Mom makes each new place feel magical. We fill up the rest of the scrapbook and start a new one ...one that will never get finished because we don’t have enough time.
I never tell her what I overheard, but deep down, I’m selfishly dreading the day she leaves me. I’m praying the cancer will somehow leave her body, and with the way she laughs and smiles, I sometimes wonder if maybe the doctors were wrong and my mom is healthy.
But then, one morning, everything takes a turn for the worse. Mom is hospitalized due to an infection, and it all spirals from there. She has a stroke and sinks into a coma, and a few days later, with Dad and me by her side, her heart stops beating.
Dad and I cry, begging her to come back.
But she’s gone.
And it feels like she took the magic with her.
The day of Mom’s funeral, Dad hands me a light-pink envelope with my name scrawled across it in Mom’s handwriting.
He’s been distant since she passed away. At first, I tried to be there for him, but the more he pushes me away, the more I realize that what I overheard that day in their room must be true. Dad hadn’t wanted me, but now, he’s stuck with me.
I go to my room and open the envelope, both nervous and excited to read my mom’s words. I don’t know when she wrote the letter, so I don’t know what I’ll get.
My dearest Paige,
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, my world changed for the better. You are not only my daughter, but you are also my best friend. You are the light in the dark and the magic in an otherwise ordinary world.
If you are reading this, I am gone. I hate that I won’t be on this earth to watch you grow up and be the extraordinary woman that I know you’ll be. But please know that if there’s a heaven—and I believe there is—I’ll be watching you from above.
There are a few things I want you to remember as you go on your journey in life. First, the magic doesn’t lie. I felt the magic the day I met your father and again when you were born. And I feel it every day that I spend with you guys here in London. When we go on our adventures and make our scrapbooks, the magic is there. Never lose sight of the magic, my sweet girl.