Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Finally, I slice through the awkward silence. “That baby inside of you is mine. Which means I will forever be in your life, and you in mine. That fact can’t change. But…to what degree I’m in your life is up to you. I won’t force a real marriage, if that’s not what you want. We can live together but separately, if you know what I mean.”
“Like the marriage I had with Apollo,” she says.
“If that’s what you want.”
She now takes a step toward me and extends her hands. “But if I don’t want it? What if I don’t want to repeat what I had with Apollo? What if I want a real marriage…with you?”
Chapter
Thirty-Eight
Daphne
To my surprise, he takes me in his arms and holds me close. Never once does he speak while I’m in his embrace. Never once does he stop showing me an unfamiliar love, kindness, and comfort.
Ares Godwin.
It’s Ares who blankets me in his warmth as a second chance lover would. Or is this a new love rather than a second chance? The definition is muddled, but I no longer care to make sense.
I’m not sure how long I rest against his chest, but eventually he pulls me back so he can look me in the eye. He says nothing. He doesn’t need to. I can see his thoughts. I can see that his entire soul crumbling to pieces inside. He doesn’t want to be here with me as Apollo, and at the same time, he has to.
Stroking his face with my palms, I whisper, “Do I call you Ares or Apollo in private?”
I see pain flicker in his eyes. “I feel like I’m betraying my brother by saying what I know I need to say.” Taking me by the hand, he says, “I can’t ask you to call me Apollo, and yet it’s what I need from the people in my life who know. I’m Apollo. I’m forever Apollo. But I also know it’s not fair to expect you to live this lie of mine.”
I shake my head. “It’s not just your lie now. It’s ours.” The thought of being alone without this man for another second sends a panic through me. I never want to be without my husband. “I didn’t want this marriage before. You know this. I didn’t love him. But I do love you.” I look up at him with desperation pumping through my veins. “Don’t plan this life—living as Apollo—without me.”
“Even though I shouldn’t say this. It tears at my soul admitting this, but I love you. I do,” he says. “I didn’t go into this plan with that intention. I didn’t mean to bring in the emotions. But I don’t want to live my brother’s life without you, either. I want you by my side.”
He leads me over to the edge of the bed and sits us down. I curl up next to him and press my cheek to his chest as he hugs me tight.
“What are you thinking?” I ask, which isn’t really a fair question. If he were to ask me the same words, I wouldn’t be able to answer because my thoughts are racing at rapid speed.
He looks down at me and makes eye contact. His expression gives nothing away.
“About us,” he begins. “About what our next step is. I’m thinking about my brother and wondering if he’d ever forgive me for this. You were his. Not mine. But now that I want to make you mine… will he haunt our asses forever? Are we crossing a line that we both can’t live with?”
My heart skips a beat knowing that he’s considering me in his future plans, but that he’s also considering not having me in them either to honor his brother. “What are you saying?” I interrupt, needing more clarification. “Do you think the fact that I was married to your brother will prevent you from… being with me?”
He swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “I’ve been loyal to my family my entire life. I’d throw myself in front of The Reaper himself for any of them. But this one time in my life, I want to be selfish. I want to do what will make myself happy.”
“And what will make you happy?”
“Making you truly mine. Holding on so tight you can barely breathe. Obsessing over you, protecting you, and doing the same for that child of ours. I don’t want the life Apollo had with you… I want us to start our own. But one thing I know is I want you. Mine.”
“Yours?”
“Mine.” He stands up and pulls me from the bed. He wraps his arms around my frame, trapping me against his body. “I feel so much more than the dark, angry emotions of before. It’s as if my heart has grown. My entire being has changed. I feel pain, I feel the loss of the thought of not having you in my life, and yet I feel emotions such as hope and love. Love for you. I don’t feel like Ares anymore. He truly died in that crash right alongside Apollo.”