Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
I fucking hate this.
Until one morning, about five days after I notice something’s going on, I hear her get out of bed at the crack of dawn.
Normally, I’m the first one awake. Which is why it surprises me when the bathroom light turns on like she plans on staying up.
I sit up when I hear a noise.
It takes me a second to understand.
It’s retching. Like someone’s getting sick.
I leap out of the bed and hurry to the door. The noise happens again—it’s definitely her, throwing up. I grab the knob and try to turn as I hear it a third time, but the door’s locked.
She locked me the fuck out.
I’m about to kick the goddamn thing in—if she’s sick, I need to get in there and take care of her—but I stop myself.
We’ve been having a lot of unprotected sex. We’re trying to get pregnant.
And now she’s awake, puking, first thing in the morning.
She didn’t drink last night. She hasn’t had anything to drink in days now that I think about it. We ate at home, which means there’s no way this is food poisoning.
Why would a woman be throwing up early in the morning?
It hits me square in the chest as all the pieces click together.
She’s pregnant. This is morning sickness.
And she’s been pregnant for a few days now.
But why hasn’t she said anything to me? Why didn’t she tell me right away? Maddie’s pregnant—this is the greatest news of my life—but my good mood’s tempered by an ugly thought.
Was she trying to hide it from me?
Chapter 30
Maddie
“Ireally need to make an OB appointment.” I pick up a bottle of prenatal vitamins while Nicole chews gum and scrolls through her Instagram feed. “What the heck is the difference between all this stuff?”
“Want me to Google it?”
“No, I’ll just get the generic stuff for now.” I lean against the shelf, shaking the bottle in my hand. “If I make a doctor appointment though, he’s definitely going to find out. I can’t hide this forever.”
Nicole looks up from her phone, gum cracking. “You haven’t told him yet? Seriously, Mads? It’s been like a week.”
“I know. I really need to. I just—”
I don’t want to lose him.
I don’t want things to change.
I’m so afraid and so desperate to cling on to what we’ve built that I’m screwing it all up.
Nicole’s face softens as she puts her phone away. “You’re worried about what he’ll say.”
“It’s not that. He’s going to be excited.”
“That’s generally a positive thing, right? Most women want the father of their child to be excited.”
“He’s going to be too excited.” How can I explain this without saying too much? “Renzo’s very… involved… and I think he’s going to…”
Nicole’s face gets serious. “Are you in danger, hon? Just nod your head if I need to call the cops or something.”
“No,” I say in a rush, waving my hands. “God, no, that’s not it at all.” I suck in a breath and blow it out. “I’m afraid things are going to change.”
“Okay,” Nicole says, expression softening. She rubs my back. “And that’s a bad thing.”
“Yes. I think so. I don’t know.” I close my eyes, clinging to the bottle of vitamins. I feel extremely stupid and vulnerable having this conversation in a freaking city CVS of all places, but here I am. These aisles have probably seen worse. “I like where we are right now. Things are good, you know? I’m getting along with his family, I’m comfortable at the house, I’m settling into this life. But the second I tell him about the baby—”
“You’re afraid it’ll all stop.” She looks sympathetic. “But you can’t help that, right? It’s going to change, hon, no matter what. You’re pregnant.”
“Rationally, I know you’re right. I just keep thinking maybe I can delay a little bit longer, just a few more days, and maybe somehow things will just… magically be fine.”
“Things will be fine.” She pulls me into a tight hug. “I promise. Renzo cares about you, right? He wants this baby and he wants to make sure you’re taken care of. You’ve gotta tell him the truth.”
“I will. I really will.”
“When?”
“Soon. Tomorrow. Maybe.”
“Tell him tonight,” she says softly, holding my hand.
I nod once, fighting tears. God, now I’m crying in a CVS, as if this weren’t bad enough. “I’ll tell him.”
“Tonight,” she repeats. “I know it’s hard, but you can do it. I believe in you.”
“Thanks, Nicole. I really needed to hear that.” I laugh, wiping my face. “I’ve been in some serious denial.”
“It’s okay. This is a big deal, right? I mean, you’re pregnant. That’s crazy.”
“Believe me, I’m aware.”
We head up front and pay for the vitamins at a self-checkout kiosk. We’re in a quiet neighborhood in West Philly near where Nicole works. There aren’t many people around, and I’m pretty distracted as I turn to say something about getting lunch.