Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
“You can’t know that,” I whisper. He lifts a hand and wipes my tears with his thumb.
“I do know that.”
I flip the phone around, hand it to him, and let him decide for himself. He picks it up and clicks play.
CHAPTER 44
THE ACCIDENT
LYLA
“When you’re ready and comfortable, I want you to go ahead and close your eyes,” Dr. Riley says in her soothing voice.
I fast forward that part of the video and stop when I see myself speaking. . .
My legs feel like they’ll give out at any moment from the two games I played. I text my roommates and tell them I’m going to be at my parent’s house for a while, since my mom promised she’d make my favorite soup. While I wait, I ice my legs on my favorite couch. My eyes feel heavy, and since I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass out before mom gets home, I set the ice on the table.
It’s the kind of dream you’re aware you’re having but can’t seem to wake yourself up. In the dream, I’m at a party. There are people around, but I can’t make out their faces. I hear their laughter, though, and feel myself smile at the sound. I’m standing by the pool when I start taking off my clothes. The cool air that hits my breasts as I lift it makes me shiver. Someone walks over and stands beside me, and starts undressing as well. I can’t see the person, but my hands stop at the waistband of my shorts when I realize they’re there. I know it’s a man from their height and body type, but I can’t make out a face. Everything is blurry. I hear the flick of a lighter, and then, the smell of a cigarette. In my dream, I gag, the way I am now, just thinking about it.
The smoke clouds my face, and I cough and gag again. Despite this, I’m still pulling down my shorts and panties. He steps forward and grabs my breast roughly as he presses against me. I smack his hand away and shake my head no, making him laugh. It’s a sound that makes my entire body freeze in terror. In my dream, I’m confused, and suddenly I’m no longer by the swimming pool. It’s pitch black where I am. I can’t see, but my legs are yanked apart, and I feel an intrusion that makes me scream. I’m completely dry and not prepared for him, but he keeps going. I whimper, feeling my eyes water as I struggle to get him off me. He laughs, that laugh again, and I open my eyes. That’s when I realize what’s happening isn’t a dream. He’s on top of me, staring at me as he moves roughly inside me. I scream and try to throw him off. I push his chest hard, and he slaps my face harder. So hard that I have to bring a hand up to the spot burning on my face. I keep moving until I buck him off me and kick him hard. I don’t know where it lands, because I turn around fast to escape, but my shorts are locked at my knees and he easily pulls me back and presses me onto my stomach. I scream as loud as I can, and soon my scream turns into a pleading sob.
“Please don’t do this.” I keep saying that over and over.
He hasn’t pushed himself inside me yet, but I know he’s coming. I’m still dry and not ready for him, so he spits on his hand and coats me with it to make for an easier entrance. I screw my eyes shut and keep pleading. He presses his mouth to my ear and tells me he should’ve fucked me like this sooner, that my lucid begging makes it more fun. He tells me his last one used to beg. I don’t know what this means, and in that moment, I don’t care. I just want him off me. He positions himself between my legs again as he pins my back down, but he doesn’t get a chance to do anything. My mom’s shrieks fill the room and he’s off me quickly.
“What the fuck is going on here?” she yells as she picks something up from the corner of the room.
I scramble, lifting my shorts, and lowering my t-shirt. I fall to my knees and sob harder, ashamed that my mother saw me like that. Terrified that she might think I wanted him to do it or that she’ll believe him if he says that to her. I try to focus on what’s happening, but my chest is raking with sobs and my eyes are filled with tears. I hear screaming. I hear a loud thwack followed by a louder thump. Someone yanks me hard once. Twice. Three times and I realize it’s my mom.