Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 93575 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93575 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
“I’m fine,” Mila insisted. “Carmen was great. I’m going to send her some signed books.”
I handed her the bag Manny had given me. “I think he put some snacks in for you.”
“Awesome. Andi, the food was incredible.”
“Save me some.” She walked past me. “Try to relax now, Nicholas. I’ll see you in the morning, kiddo.”
She left, and Mila and I stood, staring at each other. I was still anxious, my heart beating fast. I was angry at MJ, frustrated the evening ended the way it had, and strangely annoyed at Mila for being so calm.
“You couldn’t have called from Carmen’s?” I asked. “You didn’t think I’d be worried?”
“She doesn’t have a landline, Nick.” She studied me. “Please calm down. Don’t let this ruin what was a lovely evening.”
“Oh, it’s ruined, thanks to MJ and the paps.”
“No, it took a detour. You’re the one ruining it now,” she said softly. “I’m here and I’m fine. You’re here. We could go for a swim or have a shower and relax.”
“I don’t want to go for a goddamn shower. Or a swim.”
“Maybe you should go back to your room, then.”
I barked out a laugh. “I see. The first time you see the other side of me, you push me away. I guess MJ was right.”
She shook her head. “I’m not pushing you away, Nick. And I’m not seeing your disorder. You’re upset. I just think you need some time to collect yourself. I don’t like being yelled at. You’re taking your anger at the situation and MJ out on me. I know the evening went awry. I wasn’t happy either, but it’s over. Can’t we just move past it and keep going?”
Everything she said was right. Made sense. And I was yelling. I shouldn’t; I knew that. I also knew she didn’t deserve my anger, and she was correct on that too. I was taking it out on her.
And I wasn’t sure I could stop. I had to get out of there.
I walked past her, ignoring the way she reached out. Pretending not to hear her dismayed gasp to my shrugging off her touch that I usually craved. Still craved, but was too angry to admit it. I heard the hurt in her voice when she murmured my name. Or her plea of “Don’t go, Nick.”
I kept walking.
Because that was what I did best.
I swore I could hear MJ laughing in my head.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MILA
I flung back the blanket and pushed myself off the mattress. I couldn’t sleep, and pretending I would was getting me nowhere—fast.
I headed to the living room and out onto the balcony. The grounds of the hotel were quiet, the pool’s surface smooth and still. A few lights shone through drawn curtains, and I could hear the distant sound of traffic—that seemed to be a normal thing here constantly, no matter the time of day.
I felt a tug on my chest, and suddenly, I was homesick. I’d had enough of LA. Enough of all of it. I wanted to sleep in my own bed. Wander around the streets of the complex, knowing I was safe and able to do so. Andi would freak if I tried to go for a walk this time of night in LA.
So would Nick.
Nick.
His overreaction to what occurred had taken me back. His anger, his raised voice—all of it. It was as if he had lost the ability to think rationally for a few moments. His accusation that I was sending him away because of his disorder. It hadn’t even occurred to me that was the cause of his anger, but I wondered if it was. He had been under a lot of stress lately. Maybe he was spiraling?
Then I shook my head. He wasn’t manic. He was angry. The same way Reed got angry with Heather when she didn’t look after herself, or Dad got angry with Sammy when she ran herself ragged. They got upset because the person they loved wasn’t taking care of themselves.
My thoughts stopped me. Earlier, Nick had mentioned love. He’d dropped the subject almost immediately, but he was the one who’d put it out there.
Was it possible that Nick was falling for me?
I already knew I was falling for him.
I sat down heavily, my body anxious, my mind troubled. I glanced toward my laptop, but it held no draw for me. My thoughts were too jumbled to write. I glanced down at the pool, suddenly wanting to feel the cool water rush over my body as I dove in. I wanted to have the weightlessness the water provided and float.
I peered across the grounds toward the adult pool. It was 3:30 in the morning. The pool was closed. I chewed my lip, wondering if the lock had been fixed on the gate. I’d been able to simply push the gate open last time.