Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 142939 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142939 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
He opens them both and gives me one. “I don’t actually know her number.”
“I set everything up.”
I pick the phone up to see he already put Angelica’s number in and that I only need to hit the call button.
“Thank you.” I slip off the stool and head back toward the bedroom, needing to talk to my sister right now. I’m so confused inside. I have no clue about men or relationships, so I’m hoping she can give me some insight. I mean, it’s not like she has a ton of experience, but it’s still more than I have.
This morning, I thought my whole life was really going to change. I don’t just mean being saved from my father or some horrible husband, but that I was going to get to pick a man I want. One that I could call my own. But then Fernando stopped us from going any further.
“Hello.” My sister’s voice breaks me from my thoughts.
“Hey, it’s me.” I don’t know why, but I have the sudden urge to cry.
“What’s wrong?” She can tell from my tone I’m upset.
“Is that Bianca?” I hear Carina in the background. “Put it on speaker. I’ve got questions.”
“Ah, I think maybe I should talk to her alone,” Angelica tells her.
“I bet my ass she’s calling about the Butcher, and I know him better than both of you,” she responds.
“No she doesn’t. Does she know what he sounds like when he…” I trail off before I say cum.
“Oh my God!” They both say. Angelica had already put the phone on speaker.
“You had sex with the Butcher? In my mind, I’d think he’d be a rough lover, but from what I’m hearing from Angelica and Antonio, he’s a kitten with you.”
“We’re not having sex,” I growl into the phone.
“You sound really mad about this,” Carina says.
“How would you feel if you wanted to have sex with a man and he didn’t want to have it with you?” The line goes quiet. “Hello?”
“There must be a reason. Give us the soft details,” my sister finally responds.
“Soft.” Carina snorts.
I tell them as much as I’m willing to admit without crossing a line that is too personal for Fernando and me.
“Then he just stopped when he was already a little inside of you?” Angelica asks, but I know she’s thinking it over.
“He doesn’t want to hurt her. A girl’s first time can be painful. Or so I hear.” Carina sounds irritated. I guess I’m not the only one wanting to get laid here. But that’s not what I really want. I want Fernando to make love to me. I want this deep connection with him that we’ll only ever have with each other.
“So he’s never going to have sex with me? Great,” I huff, dropping on the bed.
“You could do it yourself,” Carina suggests.
“What do you mean?”
“Pop your own cherry?”
“I can do that?” I sit back up. “Like how?”
“I don’t know if you’re a good influence or a bad one, Carina.” My sister laughs.
“Just let me look.”
“At my vagina? This phone doesn’t have FaceTime. It’s one of those older ones.” They both burst into laughter.
“No, dork. I’m googling it. I think I’m going to like your sister. I wasn’t sure with the whole being into the Butcher thing. I thought she’d be emo or something.”
“You know I can hear you, right?”
“Yeah, I know how phones work.”
Angelica sighs. “You’ll learn quickly that my sister-in-law is a smartass.”
I think I might like her too.
“Got it. Okay here’s what you need to do. You’ll have to finger yourself. There might be this soft kind of elastic texture to the side. Says it’s moon-shaped if you still have it.”
“Does it really say that?” Angelica sounds skeptical. So am I.
“I guess that’s right, just based on this picture. You may not have a hymen at all. Most women don’t, but maybe he felt it or something and was afraid to push more and hurt you. That’s all I can think of.” Carina snorts. “I really can’t imagine the Butcher not wanting to hurt someone.”
“What if it’s not about my virginity? What if he realizes if he takes it too far he’s going to be stuck with me and he doesn’t want that?” My insecurities start to come out.
Either way, I’m going to see about taking my own virginity. If Fernando doesn’t want it, I’ll deal with that heartache, but if he’s not going to do it, I am. I’m taking ownership of it.
“He kidnapped you. I think it’s safe to say he wants you,” my sister points out.
“Yeah, because he saw me. But now he knows me, and I might not be all he thought I’d be.”
I’m only a pretty face. That’s what I’ve been told my whole life. Fernando might be realizing that too.
17
BUTCHER
I rearrange her pancakes for the third time, then the fourth. The tower doesn’t look perfectly straight, so I once again nudge the top two to the left a little. Leaning down, I do my best to eye the top to make sure it’s level.