Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
I sit back like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. “You want me to leave.”
Instantly, he’s shaking his head. “No, I don’t want you to leave, but I want you to have options. You don’t have to stay here, Emerson. You can do anything with your life you want to.”
I look down at my hands. “And if I want to enroll in an online school to finish my degree…” I pause, waiting for his response.
“You should do it.”
I nod. “And if I want to start writing in my spare time.”
He nods. “You should buy a computer.”
“I sold my laptop so I would have money.”
He grits his teeth. “I’ll buy you one.”
“No, I will do it.” I know I should leave. There’s no doubt that Kanan is attracted to me, but that doesn’t mean he wants me to stay here with him. “I can look for another place to stay.”
I search his eyes, but there’s no expression on his face. His jaw is pulled tight when he asks me, “Do you not like living here?”
I have to be honest with him. “I love living here. I love being here with you. I love doing the work I’m doing. I feel safe here.”
He gets up and moves into the kitchen, and I call after him, “Your food is in the oven.”
He grips the counter. “You don’t have to take care of me, Emerson. I can feed myself.”
“I know, but after therapy, you always seem so tired. I thought I’d help out a little.”
He has his head down. It’s obvious he’s been fighting his own internal demons since I’ve been here. I can’t help but wonder if me being here makes it harder for him to get over the past. “Would it be easier for you if I was gone, Kanan?”
His head turns so fast, I rear back in surprise. He grunts at me. “Why would you say that?”
I shrug. “I dunno. Am I a constant reminder for you? Do you look at me and see my dad?”
He laughs, but it’s bitter sounding. “I definitely don’t see your dad when I look at you.”
I uncurl my legs and set my feet on the ground, moving to the edge of the couch. “But me being here makes it harder for you. Just be honest and tell me the truth. Would it be easier if I left? I can go into town and find a place to live. I ate at Red’s Diner the other day with Brooklyn, and she said the owner had an apartment upstairs. I could see if it’s open.”
“Do you want to leave, Em?”
I suck in a breath when he shortens my name. He hasn’t done that since the night I arrived in Whiskey Run. “I just told you I don’t want to leave, but me staying here doesn’t make sense. You can’t sleep on the couch forever.”
He leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. “I can talk to Walker about moving us to a bigger cabin.”
“You would do that? I mean…”
He moves around the kitchen, grabbing his plate from the stove, and then he raises up. “There’s two plates in here. Did you eat?”
I’m embarrassed now. I could have easily eaten. After working outside all day, I’m usually starving by the time I’m off work, but I enjoy eating with him. “No, I didn’t eat.”
He grabs both plates and brings them over to the table. “One of the rules was you eat. Remember? Come sit down.”
I get up from the couch and go the short distance to the table, sitting down in front of the plate. The table is already set with napkins and silverware, so he sits down next to me. “Go ahead, eat.”
I start to cut the hamburger into bite-size pieces as he digs into his. It’s after I’ve eaten a few bites before he continues the conversation. “So I’ll talk to Walker about getting a bigger cabin.”
I nod. “I’m sorry, Kanan. I know I’ve completely taken over your life, and that wasn’t my intent.”
“You haven’t,” he says, trying to make me feel better, but I know he’s lying.
“I have.”
He’s staring down at his plate. “I like having you here.”
I lean forward because I’m not sure I heard what I thought I just heard. “What?”
He lifts his eyes up to mine. “I like having you here. Probably more than I should. I know you need to move on and do what’s best for you, and I’m being selfish by telling you this, but I like having you here. You said yourself, you feel safe here. Stay. For as long as you want to, I would like for you to stay. When it’s time for you to move on, you can then.”
I sit up a little straighter in my seat. “Okay, and if you want me gone before that, you need to tell me.”