Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 113056 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113056 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
I nodded.
“Maybe she went to Uncle Charlie’s. She knew of the place. I talked about it all the time. They’d take her in and treat her like family. I left her a bit of emergency money and had a copy made of one of my credit cards for her when I left. It was a MasterCard. Can you check that out? Can you get them to pull my bills? Maybe we can find out if she used the card. But don’t tell me anything Dare, until we know. I can’t. I can’t…”
“Shh, I’ll take care of all of it. I’ll take care of you, too.” He pulled me closer.
I felt so torn. Part of me wanted to slip into my new life as his wife and pretend nothing else existed. The horror was trying to sink in and part of me was so afraid that all had been for nothing, that Holly had been suffering as long as I had.
I felt like I was on the verge of breaking and I didn’t want to break, I wanted to be strong, for him, for me, for Holly, so I decided to let my husband lead. I decided to trust him with this, knowing with every ounce of me that he would handle things well and handle me with care.
It wouldn’t help me to torment myself right now. I’d been so fragile since we’d met. I couldn’t take this on. I had to trust him to find out what happened to my sister and I’d try really, really hard to not lose it in the meantime. When the truth was revealed, we’d go from there. I couldn’t blatantly hope, because my brain would run through the details over and over and let logic tell me that the chances were far too slim.
I also refused to simply think all was lost because I knew; I was living proof, that sometimes hope came when you thought it was impossible.
I would try to focus on what was in front of me and leave the rest of it to Dare. If I still was lucky enough to be his and didn’t have what I had in him, I’d never know about my sister anyway, because we’d never have delved into my other life, life before Thailand. I had to remember this and just put one foot in front of the other.
We had a honeymoon to go on. He told me he was going to find out about my sister for me and that in the meantime he wanted to make me happy. I was so lucky to have him. I’d never forget all he’d done for me. I wanted to make him happy, give him babies, make him laugh, be everything he needed.
“I know you won’t be able to put her totally out of your mind. I want you to just be what you need to be. Okay? Do you want to go on this trip? Or would you rather stay here while I figure this out?”
“I want to go on our honeymoon. I want to live while we figure this out. Is it selfish of me?”
I was weak and selfish and stupidly naïve. I had to be. I couldn’t do anything else right now; common sense would destroy me, completely obliterate me.
“What would she want for you? What did you want for her while you were there?”
I took a deep breath. He was right. She’d want me to live. She’d want me to enjoy my new life, my new husband, after all I’d been through. I couldn’t forget her, but I’d try to live like she wanted me to live.
“I have people working on this. We’ll find out what happened, okay? And if she’s somewhere where we need to rescue her, that’s what we’ll do. If she’s safe and sound, we’ll find a way to safely connect. Keep our cover until that fuckin’ place is nothin’ but a distant memory for us.”
I prayed that rescue wasn’t what would need to happen, but I had to compartmentalize Holly right now until we knew more. If not, I’d wind up in the loony bin. And the loony bin, which might not be a bad idea for me, wasn’t an option because Kruna still existed and if they found out, the entire Ferrano family would be in danger. I was now lucky enough to be part of that family. I would never, ever want to put any of them in danger.
He wanted to take me to Italy and Iceland for our honeymoon. Dare wanted me to meet his mother and he wanted me to meet his Icelandic family, too.
I knew that despite my need to tuck her away somewhere safe in the back of my mind, Holly would creep into my thoughts until we found out what’d happened. It would take major effort to stop myself from obsessing.