Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
This could be what it takes to shake him out of this insane cult fixation.
Hope blooms in my heart at the idea.
Yes, this baby could be just what we need, what he needs to adjust his priorities. He’ll now have more than just me to protect and love. He’ll have our child, and nothing in the world means more than that.
After all, he’s still the same person he always was at heart. Family means everything to him. That hasn’t changed any more than our love for each other has changed. He’s going to be so happy.
And New Haven will lose its luster. I’m sure of it. There won’t be any more taking chances, no more obsessing. No more of these late-night fights with River that sometimes wake me up.
And we can get him some help to deal with his outbursts. The baby will convince him he needs to get himself under control and learn to live with whatever it is that left him so easily unbalanced.
We can make the life we deserve.
I haven’t felt this hopeful in a long time, smiling and even laughing in glee as I wash my face before returning to the bedroom to get changed. I can’t wait for him to get back. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.
A baby. Our baby. Will it be a boy or a girl? How far along am I? The question makes me pause in the process of pulling on a pair of leggings to count back. Six weeks, I guess? Maybe seven? I’ll need to get to a doctor sooner or later. I wonder if there are any in town.
There has to be, right?
So many questions, but this is different than the constant worries and questions plaguing me for weeks. These are happy questions, full of possibilities and promise.
“We’re going to be so happy, little baby,” I promise, almost overcome with emotion at the thought of holding the baby Ren and I created together.
Like a living symbol of our love.
As if on cue, the Jeep’s engine rumbles outside. The sound leaves me almost jumping out of my skin with anticipation. This is it. This is what we need, what he needs. I just know it. I almost consider running out to deliver the news but force myself to wait the entire extra minute or so before he unlocks the door.
I pull in a breath, prepared to greet him as I leave the bedroom.
But then I see his face.
His narrowed eyes. The tight line of his clenched jaw. The hunch of his shoulders, his heavy tread as he crosses the room after slamming the door hard enough to rattle the walls and windows.
Shit. What happened this time?
There isn’t much in the world that could sweep away my joy, but this does it. Like magic, I find myself shrinking back, wanting to stay out of the way. The less I bother him when he’s like this, the better for both of us.
Right now, though, I doubt he even notices me. “Motherfucker.” He slams a bag onto the kitchen table but doesn’t bother unloading it, instead stomping his way to the cabinet where the glasses are kept. He snatches one from the shelf and fills it in the sink—then smashes the glass against the porcelain without bothering to take a drink.
I barely manage to stifle a shriek, backing into the bedroom and not stopping until my legs hit the bed frame. “Piece of shit… telling me what to do… thinking he knows the first fucking thing about me…”
Of course. River. It’s always about that damn River. I guess he must’ve called Ren while he was out, or maybe it was the other way around. Something tells me Ren knows the mention of his brother sets my teeth on edge, so he might’ve waited until he was alone to make the call.
Look where it got us.
“Fucking asshole.” I flinch when the refrigerator door slams, and again when one of the kitchen chairs hits the floor and, from the sound of it, breaks.
“I do all this fucking work, and he has the nerve to act like it’s all on me.”
I hate you, River. So much so a rush of warmth washes over me and leaves me trembling, not with fear but with rage.
There I was, ready to make the happiest announcement of my life, and instead, I’m afraid to leave the room. He couldn’t have destroyed things any more thoroughly if he’d deliberately set out to do it.
What am I supposed to do? For the first time since this began, I wish my brother was here. Q knows Ren’s ups and downs better than I do.
Yes, it’s been years since they’ve seen each other, and Ren wasn’t like this before, but still. He’s bound to know some trick to calm him when he’s pissed off and getting worse by the second.