Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 87804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“Doing what?”
A knowing smile lifts one side of his mouth. He starts chuckling and the sound is so contagious I smile along with him.
“Manager of recycling and refuse. Also known as all the shit work he could find for me.” I chuckle. “When he offered me the job he said he had a managerial position for me. Only told me what it was after I started.”
“You didn’t want to do anything with football?”
His amusement falters. His smile slides down. He sighs loudly. “It was too painful at the time. And I was having fun at the club. Little by little Rowdy started giving me more responsibility until I was running the place by myself.”
“He never told me,” I remark absently. It makes me wonder why my grandfather kept it to himself all these years.
“I miss that old bastard so much.” His soft eyes flicker to me and away, his voice brimming with pain. It triggers my own, primed and ready to shoot to the surface with only the smallest encouragement.
“He took up so much space in the world that it feels empty without him, doesn’t it?”
“Yep.” He nods.
“Bebe told me that he wanted you there…that you two were close.”
“I loved him. I would’ve done anything for him.”
I stare at the straight angle of his nose, the strong line of his jaw, the razor-sharp cheekbones I know he got from his mother. The morning light gives his skin a warm glow. But it’s the freckles barely disguised by a suntan that are my downfall. The gooey crap that my innards turn into are a direct result of those godforsaken freckles. Because those bad boys collapse time and I’m suddenly sitting next to the boy who was once my best friend.
“I’m glad you were there for him.”
Noah turns the power of his focus on me and it’s intense, sending a ripple of goose bumps over my skin. “I have changed, Maren. I want you to know that.” His voice is low and gentle, sliding under my skin and wrapping around my heart with the strength of an iron vise. “And I’m gonna do everything in my power to prove it to you.”
That’s when I know with absolute certainty. It’s an indisputable truth. Looking at him now, I know that while I may have moved on, I left the best part of myself behind.
* * *
Noah
Around noon we reach the lake. We jump out and gear up, stowing Ronald’s ashes in my backpack while Maren watches.
“I’m glad you’re here. Doing this with me.”
I look up abruptly to find her expression fragile, close to fearful even. It kills me that I can hear it in her voice. This is the bravest woman I know and I’ve turned her into this.
How do I make her believe I won’t hurt her ever again? That all I want to do is take all her worries away and be the person I once was to her––her best friend. The one person she could confide in.
“Hey, it’s me. You don’t have to be scared of telling me anything.” The last thing I need is for her to bolt now that we’re finally getting along. Now that she’s finally rid of that fucking asshole.
“I don’t?”
“No…and I wish I knew how to make you believe that.”
Her deep green eyes swim in doubt. Her face tilts toward the clouds above, her hands closing tightly around the straps of her backpack. “I hope it doesn’t rain.”
“It won’t. It just looks that way,” I tell her, and begin the long trek up the mountainside.
* * *
We’ve been walking for an hour when the trail parts to reveal the horizon. I turn to see if Maren sees it. A soft smile lifts her lips and amusement flickers in her eyes.
“Wanna jump?”
She walks up to the ledge and looks down. I follow right behind her. And while she’s inspecting the drop into the water, I’m watching the way her throat rises and falls as she swallows, the baby-blonde hair near her ear, the way her ponytail falls over her shoulder and I’m suddenly breathless. I can’t get relief from the empty feeling in my chest…I miss her already and she isn’t even gone yet.
There are some things that will never be explained and whatever it is Maren and I share is one of those things. It’s a connection greater than friendship and attraction, a force stronger than our collective will.
After this trip is done. After we spread Rowdy’s ashes and she completes the tasks set in the will, she’ll leave and I may never see her again and I don’t know how to deal with it. I want everything with her but right now, right this very minute, all I want to do is throw her over my shoulder, carry her somewhere safe, and lock her up.