Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
My heart warms. It’s worth it, tabling all these feelings. Worth it to make her see there are good guys in the world. “You say it like it’s a hardship to handle a change in the schedule.” I lean back in the chair, my empty plate in front of me since I polished off every last bit of my seared salmon and summer green beans.
“I don’t know. Change is hard for a lot of people.” She sounds a little resigned, maybe disappointed too. “Aiden didn’t like it one bit when things didn’t go according to plan. He’d get very antsy and agitated.”
I want to roll my eyes and tell her how damn glad I am that he’s the ex, but then I realize she doesn’t need to hear that. She’s glad he’s the ex. She’s telling me this because she’s worried we’d be the same. “That must have sucked. When he acted that way,” I say, gently.
She brightens. “It definitely made me tense at times. Wondering how he’d handle it if I had a last-minute client or a schedule change,” she says, then she dips her face, lifting it a second later and saying to us in a shy whisper, “Is it weird that I feel seen right now from what you just said? Because I do. I just do.”
Too many people are used to being treated like shit. They assume it’s the norm. I hate that she’s felt that way. “You should. What you said makes all the sense in the world,” I say, emphatic.
After Ledger takes a final drink of his wine, he adds, “Doesn’t sound like fun to go through the day always looking behind you.”
“It wasn’t. Though, the weird part is my dad was so sure Aiden was a good guy,” she says. “He was so happy when I dated Aiden briefly after college, and so convinced he was my one who got away.”
And the picture of Aubrey colors in some more. She must have felt the pressure of expectations. “Was that one of the reasons you said yes to his proposal? Because you thought your dad wanted it for you?”
Like it costs her something, she nods. “I think so.”
“That’s gotta be hard. Wanting to live up to someone who’s not here anymore.”
Ledger shifts closer to her, tapping the table, perhaps to make his point. “That’s normal though. Most of us are wired that way. Hell, I want to make my dad happy and he’s around. That’s why I called him back earlier. He wanted to talk all things broadcast booth,” Ledger says. “It’s hard to want to make someone else happy. But to have to think about it when someone you love is gone? Hell, Aubrey. That’s a lot.”
Aubrey sighs, sounding a little relieved. “Thanks for understanding. I guess Aiden tricked a lot of people. I just wish I’d figured it out sooner.”
“Hey,” I say, sitting up straighter, leveling her with my gaze. “That’s just what some people do. That’s what some people are good at. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“It can take you a while to figure it out,” Ledger adds. “Took me a while with my ex.”
I give a nod of solidarity. “Same here. With mine.”
Aubrey leans closer, her gaze focused on Ledger, then me, like she wants to know both of us better. “What happened?”
She’s so curious, so earnest as she asks that I know I’ll tell her. I’m sure I’ll start to open up.
Guess I’m not such a good goalie when it comes to keeping her out.
19
IT’S A WHOLE THING
Aubrey
I latch onto Ledger’s last comment. It can take you a while to figure it out.
Like I did last night at the diner with Dev, I wonder again if Ledger’s speaking from experience. I don’t know much about Ledger’s marriage, only that it was short-lived and ended about a year ago. I’m gentle when I press, asking, “You feel like your ex-wife tricked you?”
I wouldn’t be shocked if Ledger shuts me down. He’s scrubbing a hand across his stubbled jaw, clearly working through something, then he says, “I don’t want to make this about me. I was just saying I get it.”
This poor man. He’s clearly got walls up. “I asked you. And guess what? Not everything has to be about me. Plus, you know all my stuff now.”
That’s not entirely true. But they know enough.
With a heavy exhale, Ledger gives in. “She cheated on me with her personal trainer. This guy Ben, who she begged me to hire for her. The best personal trainer in the city,” he bites out, sarcastic, but masking real hurt.
The sound I make, low in my throat, surprises me. It’s protective. Animalistic. Angry. “That’s awful,” I hiss.
“Especially since she was always saying I wasn’t available for her. I was hardly around. I was either at the arena, or on the road, or seeing the team trainer, or doing yoga. Or something. And she wanted to stay busy, she claimed. She stayed busy all right, screwing her trainer.”