Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
“Well, well, look who finally called,” Jeffrey says, his voice booming in the phone.
“Hey,” I say, running my hand through my hair and then squeezing my neck. “I got a new place.”
“Did you?” he asks in a lower voice than his greeting.
“I did, and then someone gave me a gift,” I tell him, my hands starting to shake on the key chain. It’s the most meaningful gift I’ve ever gotten. “Things are too calm.”
“Where are you now?” he asks me, and I look around.
“In my empty apartment,” I tell him. “Would you like to come visit?”
“I would love to,” he says. “How about you send me the address, and I’ll come right over.”
“You don’t have to come right over,” I say, going to the window and looking down at the street.
“Beats the shit out of watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune,” he says, laughing. I try to laugh, but it doesn’t come out. “Send me the address.”
“Will do,” I say, disconnecting, and then I send him the address. I sit with my back against the white wall as the apartment darkens as the sun sets. The buzz getting me up and then I hear a soft knock on the door and yell for him to come in.
The door opens, and he stands there looking around. “Is this a surprise party?” he says, looking around and then turning on the light. “Jesus, it looks like prom.” He closes the door. “If you asked me here to take my virginity”—he gives me a pointed look—“you’re a couple of centuries too late.”
That makes me smile, and I look down at the key still in my hand. “Zoe did it,” I tell him. “She had this whole thing as a surprise and welcome home.”
“Zoe?” he asks, coming over and sitting next to me with his back against the wall.
“My realtor and my GM’s sister,” I tell him. He sits there quietly, waiting for me to play it out in my head. “She’s nice, and she’s gorgeous,” I admit. “But she’s untouchable.”
“To who?” he asks, trying to get me in the right frame of mind.
“To me,” I tell him. “I’m a broken man.” I close my eyes and lean my head back. “I take it back; I was a broken man. Now I’m trying to piece all the pieces together, and I don’t have time for this.”
“Does she want to date you?” Jeffrey asks me, and I look at him.
“No.” I smirk. “According to her, the fact that I play hockey is a big strike, and she doesn’t date anyone who does. But I don’t want to lead her on.”
“Have you told her?” The question I don’t know where to go with.
“I told her I’m in recovery.” I take a deep breath. “And that I’m a recovering addict.”
“And …?” he asks me.
“And nothing. She didn’t seem fazed by it,” I tell him. “It’s all going too smoothly. I’m back on the ice, and even that is so much better than I remembered it was,” I say, which is the main reason I called him. “It’s all going too good. I’m in a good place. I’m healthy, and I’m semi happy. I’m sleeping five hours straight at night. My hands shake at most only twice a night once I wake up.” I look down, my heart beating a touch faster. “The pull to get high isn’t as great as it was last week. I have friends who actually care about my well-being, but that means nothing.”
“Well,” Jeffrey says, “I do believe you’ve just completed step four.”
I look at him, confused. Searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
He smiles. “You just taken an inventory about yourself, and it wasn’t all negative.” I let his words sink in. “You’ve been here a month—one month—and it’s been hard. But no one said it would be easy.” I nod. “But you are starting to see the moments when the walls start closing in. The moment your heart speeds up just a touch. The moment your hands start to twitch right before they start shaking.” Jeffrey takes a deep breath and then lets it out. “One day at a time.”
I hand him the key chain. “Zoe got the keys to my place today, and she got me that key chain,” I tell him, and he looks at it and flips it over.
“Looks like you made a good friend,” he says, handing me back the key. “Want another piece of advice?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Talk to her. Make sure all the cards are on the table. Things aren’t always black and white. Sometimes, a little gray slips in.”
We spend the rest of the time sitting next to each other without saying much. He knows I’m letting everything we just said play over in my mind. When I feel more like myself, I get up and so does Jeffrey. He helps me lock up my place, and then we walk down the street. He gets on the subway, and I continue back to the loft. My mind is finally clearer, but I know I have to talk to Zoe. I have to nip this thing in the bud.