This Christmas Read Online Heidi McLaughlin

Categories Genre: Alpha Male Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 50080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 250(@200wpm)___ 200(@250wpm)___ 167(@300wpm)
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“It’s too much.”

I do a double take. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Clara and I have a number in mind, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking this from you.” Benny opens the folder again, takes a pen from his shirt pocket, and scribbles on the sheet of paper. He nods at the file.

I hesitate for a minute, trying to understand what is going on right now. I take the folder, open, and grin. “This is what you want for the house, land, and Reindeer Ridge operation?”

“And not a penny more,” he says. Benny takes a drink of his soda. “Clara and I will also accept the invite to stay in the house when we’re in town.”

“Absolutely.” I reach across the table and shake his hand.

“The farm will belong to Evangeline?”

I nod. “Yes, it will. It’s the least I can do. We’d always planned on this—taking over our family operations—and I can’t think of a better time than now.”

“Once we get through the holidays, we’ll go through everything.” Benny chuckles. “There’s a lot that goes into running the farm. It’s not just a November to December operation.”

“Bring it on.”

On my way back to Deer Ridge, my phone rings. Even though this is a rental, I hooked up the Car Play so I could utilize the large screen on the console. Caryn’s photo and number appear on the screen. The sight causes a spike of anxiety. My heart starts to race and not in a good way.

Reluctantly, I accept the call, give it a few seconds to connect, and then say, “Hello?”

“Zane?”

“Hey, Caryn.”

My mind whirls with why she’s calling. We’ve ended. On neither good nor bad terms. Our relationship is over.

“What would you like me to do with your things?”

My “things” are mostly clothes. I have very few possessions because none of what I liked would ever go with Caryn’s aesthetic. I didn’t even have my own space in her apartment. The more I think about it, which I don’t like doing, I was nothing more than a roommate.

Going back to New York isn’t an option. There is no way I’d be able to convince Evangeline of this. Nor would I want to put her through any type of agony, wondering if I’m coming back.

“I suppose asking you to pack and ship my things to me is out of the question?”

“You want me to pack?”

“It would be like packing a suitcase,” I tell her. “Only in a box.”

“Uh . . .”

“How about I hire someone?”

“Why can’t you come do it?”

I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “That’s not going to work, Caryn.”

“Why not? Is the life we had so bad?”

“Yes and no,” I say, sighing. I pull over to the side of the road, put my SUV in park, and turn my hazards on. The problem with that is someone will undoubtedly stop to see if I need help.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she says.

“When did you find out about me?”

“What do you mean?”

“The day we met was this the first time you knew who I was?”

Caryn is silent for a long moment.

“Caryn?”

“Um...”

“When?”

“I don’t want you to be mad, Zane.”

“Tell me, please?”

Caryn sighs. “I first saw you at this thing my dad went to at some school to look for employees. Serena and I were walking around and there you were. We followed you around and Serena came up with the idea for my dad to talk to you. I told him I wanted you in New York.”

My eyes well up with tears and my throat squeezes. “What you did...”

“Nothing, Zane. I showed you a life that you could only dream of.”

I shake my head. “No, what you did was take me from the life I had dreamed of for as long as I could remember.”

“No one thrives in a small town.”

“Sometimes, it’s not about prospering, Caryn. Tell you what, if you can’t be bothered to pack and send my things, then toss them out.” I bang my fist on the steering wheel. “No, you know what, those are clothes you bought me, and I don’t want them.”

“Zane...”

“Goodbye, Caryn.”

NINETEEN

EVANGELINE

Tomorrow is Christmas. It’s supposed to be happy and joyous. I am those feelings wrapped in a nice bow, but also more. It’s odd to describe but I feel like I’m teetering on the cusp of love and heartbreak. It’s hard to put into words how I feel about Zane. I’m ecstatic he’s back while still being somewhat sad because we’ve missed so much. I’m sure people are wondering what I’m doing, allowing him to spend so much time with me, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind everyone knows he’s spent every night since the kids’ party at my apartment. The thing is, now that I’ve had him in my space, I don’t want him to leave.

It's unhealthy, this obsession I have. It’s like my body and mind are battling for what’s right, wrong, and not meeting in the middle for compromise. My subconscious wins a lot of conflicts, mostly because memories are a shit thing when you’re trying to forget and move on. One touch from him can spark a barrage of emotion and flood my senses of times when we were together, but the ugly creeps in, and I see nothing but him leaving on the train and never returning. Those feelings I had for months after he left have never gone away. They’ve been buried.


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