Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
I wanted that happily-ever-after I had never believed was real, or, at least, not real for me.
I wanted that.
And I wanted that with him.
I don't know why I let my mind mull over those thoughts when they only ever left me with a fist-sized hole in my chest, and swollen eyes I needed to ice because I didn't want Luca to ask me why I had been crying. Because he would ask. Because he was observant. Because he was the kind of man to want to know what was wrong. Not because he feared the consequences of not asking, but because he genuinely cared.
The bastard.
Why did he have to go and be so lovable?
Who gave some mafia underboss the right to be so perfect?
"Why so angry?" Tina, Luca's housekeeper asked, making me realize I had been rather aggressively slicing up a cucumber for my salad. "Things with Mr. Grassi not so good?"
"No, they're absolutely perfect. And that is the problem."
"I see no problem," she said, shaking her head at me, waving her hand, and I could just picture her doing the same thing to any one of her four teenage children. "You kids. You overthink it all. Always going going going," she said, tapping her temple.
"I have a lot to think about."
"Like what? What do you have so important to think about?"
"I live in California," I reminded her.
"Yes, and there are no apartments in New Jersey. Not a single one."
"My job is there too."
"Oh, yes, I know... there are no jobs in New Jersey either. No one here works," she quipped, putting another bag in the garbage pail.
"I don't even know how he feels about me, Tina," I admitted, hearing the vulnerability sneak into my voice. She was the only friend I had in the world at the moment. And Luca paid her to be around me. Wasn't that just a little bit pathetic?
"Yes, and you know how you know that?"
"How?" I asked, hoping for some sage maternal advice, the kind of snippets mother figures always seemed to be chock full of.
"You talk to him, mija. You talk. You say 'I have feelings.' And then maybe he says he has feelings too. And then you both decide what that means. All this thinking," she repeated, shaking her head, "and not enough talking. That is the problem."
And, well, that was the problem for most of us, wasn't it?
"You know, Romina," she said, stopping what she was doing to level her wise gaze at me. "I have worked for Mr. Grassi for years. You know a lot about a man when you clean his bedroom and put away his wash. I know that no woman has stayed more than a few nights. He dates, but his heart, it has never been in it. It's just... he's a man. Men have needs. But his heart, always untouched."
"So you're saying I'm just another in the long list of conquests?" I asked, grimacing.
"No, silly girl. He looks at you like he's a starving man, and you are a warm meal."
"I already know he... wants me, Tina. I'm not talking about want."
"He buys you things. He makes you coffee before he goes to work. He thinks about you when he doesn't have to think about you. Men don't do that for lust, mija. So talk to him. That's my advice," she concluded, giving me a nod as she gathered the garbage and headed down the elevator.
She'd only been by every other day, but I still couldn't get used to being waited on. That said, I knew that my mother used to say it made her uncomfortable when she was on a job and someone there tried to help her. It threw her off her flow.
So to make it less awkward for the both of us since I really wasn't supposed to leave the apartment yet, I engaged her, learning about her kids, finding out how long she'd been in the area, what Luca was like to work for.
She, in turn, took an interest in what was going on between Luca and me. She didn't pry, but she asked how we were, how long we'd been seeing each other.
Worried, I had brought it up to Luca. Not to get her in trouble, but because I knew he was always worried about outsiders being privy to his personal information.
He'd actually chuckled, slinging an arm around my lower back, pulling me into his body to place a kiss on my temple.
"Her husband has worked for my father for nearly twenty years. They practically watched us grow up, so she is interested in a more maternal way. She is as loyal as they come."
"Okay good. I just wanted to check. I don't want you to think I am tattling or anything. I just know privacy is important."
"No, I'm glad you asked. Always ask if you're not sure. I appreciate it"