Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Who the fuck just barges in?
But I stop dead because my brother has blood on him. On his shirt and his hands.
There’s so much red.
“What the fuck?” I ask. “Jesus Christ. What happened?”
“Get your fucking clothes on and help me,” CJ says, he pleads in this broken, panicked voice.
And I’ve never heard him sound like that.
HOW TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP 101
JAKE
THE HOSPITAL WAITING room is packed, and half of the people here are waiting to hear about Riley. I recognize everyone from the game night at Reed’s.
No one’s being friendly like they were that night though. But that’s probably because they’re all so worried. I am too.
Blood was dripping out of Riley.
Fuck. I can’t stop picturing it.
I drove us here while CJ held her in the back seat of my car. He was crying and begging and screaming at me to go faster. He frantically tried keeping her awake.
Felix did too.
He stayed turned around from the passenger seat and held Riley’s hand. He kept talking to her about random stuff. I remember hearing him say how good her nails looked, and I wanted to smile at that, but I couldn’t.
I just drove. There was nothing else I could do.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t reassure my brother. I didn’t even know what was happening.
Actually, that’s a lie.
I’m pretty sure we all knew. We just didn’t want to be right about it.
CJ was rushed back to the restricted area with Riley when we got here, and the rest of us have been sitting here for over an hour. We can’t even get a fucking update, and I think all of us have asked. Even the cops.
Privacy shouldn’t even be a thing when everyone is family, and that’s exactly what my brother’s friends are to him. They all got here so fucking fast.
The three girls are huddled together in a corner, their chairs angled so they can embrace, while the guys are standing behind them, looking solemn and barely speaking. Mostly everyone is holding a kid.
Felix and I are seated in the chairs closest to the nurse’s station. I figured that was a good spot to be in.
Not that it’s mattered so far since no one’s telling us anything.
“This is such bullshit,” I say loud enough the one nurse glares at me over the top of her glasses.
I stare at her until she looks back down.
Felix rubs my back. “Do you want a coffee or something? I can go get it.”
I hunch forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and crack my knuckles. I pick out blood from underneath my nails.
“Jake?”
“No. I’m all right.” I look over at him then. “Do you think there’s any chance the baby survived?”
“I don’t know. I—” Felix subtly shakes his head. He looks sick. “There was a lot of blood, Jake.”
Fuck. There was.
How could someone survive losing that much?
That thought makes me nauseous.
I drop my head and close my eyes, and I pray for the first time in forever. I don’t even know if I’m doing it right or who the fuck I’m even speaking to, but if something happens to Riley, it’ll kill my brother. He’ll never recover from that.
So, I pray really fucking hard. It feels like the only thing I should be doing.
“Jake. Look. Hey.”
Felix taps my arm until I raise my head, and when I see CJ walking through the sliding doors that separate everyone who isn’t allowed to know anything from the people they care about, I jump to my feet and rush forward, meeting him halfway.
“What’s going on? What happened?” I ask.
And then everyone is asking a version of the same thing.
Felix and all of CJ’s friends—they’re all crowding around us and just as desperate for answers, for anything.
But my brother only looks at me.
“Where were you?” he asks, and I say, “What?” because I can’t hear him that well at first, not with everyone’s voices all around me.
So, CJ repeats it.
“Where. Were. You.”
And I flinch at his tone.
“What do you mean. When?”
“When my wife was bleeding out in my fucking living room.” He steps closer. “Where the fuck were you?”
His voice is so shaky and slow, it scares me a little.
“I was in the shower, I think. I don’t know.”
“Did you see her when you got home?”
“Yeah.”
“And.” He steps closer again, and now we’re only a couple feet apart.
I swallow the guilt that’s suddenly clogging up my throat.
“And she was okay. She was just hanging out. We talked for a couple minutes. She seemed… tired, maybe? And she complained about cramps, but—”
“So, my wife was in pain, and you didn’t think I should know about that?”
Oh, fuck.
“I figured you knew,” I’m quick to say. “I don’t know. I just thought Riley would’ve told you.”
Couples share important shit like that, don’t they?
“But you didn’t know for sure, did you? And you didn’t check, because that would mean reaching out to me and actually giving a fuck about someone other than yourself. Or swallowing your pride for two fuckin’ minutes, but when have you ever done that? Huh? When have you ever owned up to anything, Jake?”