Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 114011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
I don’t want Cole Beck to see the ugly inside me—the parts that other men see and then retreat as far away from as they can. Emotionally, anyway.
But whether I want him to or not, he searches my face, and I can’t hide.
“That’s why I didn’t want Ethan here when you came over,” I say, my voice betraying me with the slightest vibration.
“Why? I don’t understand.”
Much to my dismay, Cole drops his hand.
I struggle to ignore the flash of coolness on my chin and stay focused on the question he asked of me.
“Ethan is at the age where he needs a male role model. He’s craving it. And his dad, well, you know, just took off to Cleveland without a second thought. And I don’t want Ethan latching on to anyone—because I’m afraid that’s what he would do—who isn’t into the two of us long term. And that’s clearly not what’s happening here with us.”
Cole’s brows pull together, and he licks his lips. “So that explains the hot-and-cold thing you’ve been doing.”
“Partially.” I take a deep breath and feel my spirits sink a bit. “I also want something more for me—something real and tangible. Something that I can believe in and just . . . I don’t know. Rest, I guess, knowing it’ll be there tomorrow.”
But then you came along, and I still want those things . . . but I want you so much. I don’t know what to do.
“Palmer?”
“What?”
He smiles. “Don’t ever apologize for doing what you have to do for you or your son.”
My insides fill with a light and warmth—a sensation of being understood.
I didn’t need Cole’s validation. I know I’m doing what’s best for my family. But Cole is the first man to listen to what I have to say, to hear it, and then acknowledge it in a positive, thoughtful way.
It feels damn good.
“Thank you,” I say.
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For listening.”
“Well, thank you for opening up to me.” He looks at the plates on the floor. “And for the pizza.”
My gaze follows his to the stack of pizza crusts. I swing my legs over the side of the ottoman and bend down. At the same time, Cole moves to grab the plates off the floor.
We collide midair and fall into a heap next to the plates—Cole on his back and me halfway across him.
Our laughter breaks through the silence in the room.
The heat of his body radiates into mine. The movement of his chest as he laughs fills me with an energy that I needed.
I press a hand against his chest, his heart thumping beneath my palm, and start to press off him. But before I can, his hand wraps around my wrist.
My mouth goes dry as I peer down into his handsome face. Slowly, he raises up. Less slowly, I bend down.
A hundred million thoughts race through my mind. Some of them tell me to kiss him. Others scream not to. Another segment has me ripping my clothes off and straddling him in some kind of sexual-aggressor mode that I didn’t know I possessed.
Cole’s breath is hot as he grows closer. My heart beats so loud that I’m sure he can hear it. He’s right in front of my face when he stops, hovering just inches from me.
He blinks, his beautiful blue eyes as clear as the sky on a summer afternoon.
“Are you sure?” he whispers. “Because I’ve heard what you said, and I don’t want to put you into a situation that you don’t want to be in.”
Am I sure?
My body trembles, needing the next moment to happen without me thinking about it. I want him to kiss me—I want him to kiss me so freaking bad. I want to lose myself in his arms and forget about logic and what might be right and what’s probably wrong.
But should I?
My phone buzzes with a very specific tone on the sofa behind me.
I pull away and fall onto my heels.
“I’m sorry,” I say, the connection between us broken. “That’s Ethan.”
“Sure. Get it.”
Cole falls back to the floor with a thud.
I grab my phone and read Ethan’s text.
My stomach hurts. Can you come get me?
My phone buzzes again.
Val:
I think Jared called Ethan’s cell. I was in the bathroom and I’m not sure what happened, but Ethan’s acting kind of weird.
Me:
I’m on my way.
I get to my feet. “I’m really sorry, Cole. But Jared apparently got a hold of Ethan, and God knows what he said . . .”
Cole is on his feet just as quickly. “Can I do anything? Want me to come back later and play catch or take him for some batting practice?” He glances over his shoulder. “Well, it’s dark. But we could—”
“Cole?” My heart swells. “Thank you. I got this but . . . honestly. Thank you.”
We stand face-to-face for a long moment. I’m not sure if he’s going to hug me, kiss my cheek, or pat my shoulder like a friend. Any of them would be welcome. But none of them are probably a good idea.