Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“Thank you,” she said. “Hopefully we won’t.”
“Abby’s a natural,” I said.
“I didn’t do anything but take my breast out.” She shrugged.
“Always works for me, too.” I winked.
The nurse cleared her throat. “I’m gonna leave the paperwork here for his name and birth certificate. Someone will be by to check your vitals soon.”
After the nurse left, I picked up the paperwork and pen. “Shall I?”
Abby nodded. “Go ahead, husband.”
I began entering the information. At the spot for the middle name, I wrote Knickerbocker.
Alexander Knickerbocker Benedictus
Abby’s eyes widened. “You’re giving him my last name as his middle name?”
“Bringing this little man to life was a three-person effort. His name needs to reflect that, our three last names. His two mums and his dad. He wouldn’t be here without all of us.”
Her eyes watered. “Thank you.”
“Thank you, my love. For everything. For making the dream I didn’t even realize I had come true.”
She wiped her eyes and pointed to the corner of the room. “Can you bring me my hospital bag?”
“Yeah.” I stood. “Of course.”
I opened the bag and faced it toward her as she reached in to pull out a soft toy. “I had this made for him,” she said, handing it to me. It was a little giraffe with a floral print.
“When did you have the time to do this?”
“I ordered it back in the States.”
“Giraffe…” I said.
“I remember you saying Britney used to call you that. The material for the outside is from her pajamas. I found this woman on the Internet who makes stuffed animals from clothing of loved ones who’ve passed away. I asked Kate for something of Britney’s so I could make something for him. I know it’s kind of a girly pattern, but I didn’t know we were having a boy at the time, and her mom said those were her favorite PJs.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked down at the giraffe. “This means so much.”
Abby set the toy next to Alex. He turned his face toward it and took the giraffe’s nose into his mouth.
CHAPTER 51
* * *
Abby
Track 51: “Endless Love” by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
It felt so good to be dressed in normal clothes, even if I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital yet.
Sig’s parents had just gone after they’d come by to meet Alex. It had been a surprisingly pleasant visit. Rosemary seemed to have softened. I suppose meeting your grandchild for the first time would do that to you.
Sig returned from seeing them out and sat down in the chair across from me by the window. So much more rested after a couple of days in the hospital, I finally felt ready to address something with him. “I have a confession…” I began as baby Alex lay napping in my arms. “There’s something I never told you. It was the reason my mood was a bit off starting around Christmas.”
He blinked, looking concerned. “Alright…”
“You know how Kate and Phil gave me Britney’s old laptop?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, when I logged into my email for the first time, her account popped up.”
“Oh.” He closed his eyes briefly, as if he knew exactly where this was going.
“Yeah,” I continued. “She was still logged in. I saw dozens of emails from you. It wasn’t any of my business, but I clicked on one only.”
He swallowed. “What did it say?”
“You told her you would never love anyone the way you loved her. That stuck with me. I had myself convinced that no matter how much I loved you, I would only ever be a consolation prize.”
He opened his mouth, but I stuck my finger out. “Let me finish.”
Sig nodded somberly.
“I don’t feel that way anymore. It wasn’t fair for me to use your private words to her as a gauge for how you might feel without even talking to you about it. I was very hormonal and scared for the future at that time, certain I was destined to lose you. I love you so much and was afraid you could never love me back the same way.”
“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”
“Honestly? I didn’t want to admit that I’d read one of your private emails.” I shrugged. “And I suppose I also didn’t want to hear that there might have been truth to my fears. That scared me more than anything.”
Sig stood and came to the bed, placing his hand on my cheek. “It is true that I won’t ever love anyone the way I loved her. But it’s also true that I won’t love anyone the way I love you. It’s not an either-or situation. My love for each of you is parallel, mutually exclusive and different in ways that could never be compared.” He exhaled. “Writing to Britney has been my way of keeping her alive, in a sense. It’s helped me to gather my thoughts and release my emotions when I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else. I obviously never thought anyone would know about those emails.”