Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 57237 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57237 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“Eat your soggy fish,” I told him.
He grinned around a mouthful of food.
“Operator Payne!”
I snapped my gaze to the doors and automatically sat straighter. It was Danny, and he strode toward us with a determined expression. And happiness? He couldn’t really conceal the joy in his eyes, so I instinctively smiled in anticipation.
“Here we go,” Darius murmured.
Danny held up a folder and offered a smirk as he reached our table, and he slapped the folder between our trays. “Top scores in exfiltration, special recon, interpretation and accent detection in Farsi, counterinsurgency, resistance-to-interrogation, close combat, advanced weapons training, field communications, logistical support, hostage rescue, and demolition. Take that, you sexy old bird watcher.”
Holy fucking shit, was I proud. I picked up the folder and flipped it open, and sure enough. Highest score on each field in which he’d been tested. The types of weapons too, his precision skills, the distance, the caliber—all of it.
“What the hell’s left?” Darius asked.
“I gotta be grayer,” Danny replied. “We’re working on that. And profiling.”
I nodded absently, scanning his results.
“Terrance wants me in counterintelligence and cryptology too,” he added.
Good additions, absolutely. We’d talk to TJ and probably call in a favor or two. Far as I knew, we didn’t have any specialists in cryptology in the building, and the ones who worked with it weren’t instructors.
“Speaking of becoming a gray man,” Danny said and sat down next to Darius. “Your name came up when I asked who I could seek advice from—not counting the SAS’s finest over there.”
Thanks, baby.
Darius snorted under his breath and stuck two fries into his mouth. “Be cynical. That’ll get you there. It’s about what you show on your face.”
I closed the folder again, curious about Darius’s input. He was a natural gray man.
“Dressing for the occasion is the easy part,” he went on. “I trust you’re already good at reading a room—and you’ll obviously study a scenario before you walk into it. So that leaves your reactions.”
Danny nodded slowly and leaned back in his seat. “That’s my problem. My fuckin’ temper. I get heated too easily.”
I felt the need to add something. “To be clear, you can stay put for as long as you need to—just not without showing your anger.”
“Right. That.” Danny nodded once. “I’m the same with interrogation. Like, the one interrogating me won’t get a single response from me—I’ll resist, no sweat—but every emotion is written on my face.”
Darius turned pensive, before he eventually shrugged. “It’s all mental, man. You gotta envision the worst of humanity and act indifferent about it. And never make shit personal out in the field. I do that during training instead.”
Danny cocked his head. “How?”
Darius and I exchanged wry looks, and I had a feeling I knew what he was going to answer. And go for it; Danny needed to know. It was the ugly truth.
“Picture loved ones,” he said. “When you’re at home or here, training for your next gig, picture the absolute worst things you can imagine. And I’m not just saying entertain the thought of your siblings in the shoes of a victim you’re bringing home, or… Whatever. Really imagine it. Lie down, close your eyes, and transport yourself to a scenario where you’re witnessing brutal rape, abuse, torture—whatever usually triggers your rage.”
Danny pinched his lips together and flicked a glance my way.
I cleared my throat. “Not only do you need to be composed and indifferent, like Darius said, but sometimes you must find it amusing.”
Darius inclined his head. “One of my first contracts, I had to suffer through a dinner where animal abuse was the entertainment of the evening—before I could execute my plan. They literally strung up two dogs and beat them to death. And I had to find it funny. I had to show my target that life was great. The very definition is to be inconspicuous. Don’t raise suspicion. Blend in.”
“Jesus Christ.” Danny clenched his jaw and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Like, I know it fucking happens—I hear stories about shit like that. But to witness it with my own eyes…?”
“That’s why you must prepare yourself mentally, Danny,” I murmured. “Picture that happening to your future rescue pups.”
Right now, he couldn’t do that without showing the rage in his eyes.
“You need to turn that into a smile,” Darius said pointedly.
Danny smashed his lips shut and scowled. “What do you picture when you prepare yourself?”
“My nieces and nephews,” I responded.
He turned to Darius.
“My baby sisters, mostly,” he said. “Sometimes my mother and youngest brother. Whatever works.”
“That’s sick,” Danny muttered.
“It’s what keeps us alive in those situations,” Darius answered. “It’s taught us to shut down.”
I added one more thing. “More importantly, it teaches us to choose our reactions and the next step we take. We don’t allow our emotions to make that decision for us.”
Danny had come far already, and he showed more potential for every day that passed. But he was facing his biggest challenge yet. To go from a hotheaded soldier to a stone-cold operator.