Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 122097 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122097 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
“Why? Was he gunnin’ for me?”
“No. He wasn’t. I think maybe he thought I was traumatized. And he was trying to make me understand that when a stranger comes into your home and tries to kidnap your baby sister, this is what one does. Because any man who would even think about doing that, well, he just isn’t a good man.”
Collin allows himself a grin. It’s small, but it’s there. “I thought you were telling me the story of how I ruined you.”
“I am. You ruined me because every guy I dated after you I would ask myself—how quickly would this one act? How long would I be afraid if some bad man forced his way into my life again? And the answer was never two seconds, Collin. So the answer was always too long.”
We stare at each other for a good long moment. He picks up his glass and I, in return, pick up mine. “I’ve missed you.”
I huff a little. “That’s not a toast.”
“To being back.”
“Welcome home.”
We eat a nice dinner. The restaurant’s low lighting makes it intimate. And it’s not loud and obnoxious, but quiet and… calm, I guess. We talk about other things after that. The night of the shooting was something we needed to discuss so we could clear the air. And now that it’s over, it feels… easier. Like no time has passed. Like we’re still in high school. Still dating. Still planning a life together.
I know what Collin was talking about when he said that woman he was gonna marry wasn’t even his friend. That’s how I’ve felt about the men I’ve been with. The fact is, I didn’t just size up all my dates and boyfriends against Collin’s action-readiness. I sized them up against him for everything.
And I was so used to doing it, Collin wasn’t even part of the equation anymore. It’s not like I went on that date six months back and said to myself, So how does this one measure up in the looks department? How good is his aim? Does he even own a gun? Is he the right height? Does he have ambition? Can he catch a football?
It wasn’t like that. I just had this internal checklist. Like I already knew what I wanted. Like I was looking for a blouse on the rack and I already had a vision of it in my mind so I could just skip past all the things that weren’t that.
Skip past all the men who weren’t Collin Creed.
Collin and I walk outside the restaurant. It’s a really nice evening. Still warm, like maybe summer’s right around the corner. We head down a little path that leads to the parking lot. It’s all very picturesque. It’s dark, but there are fairy lights everywhere. Add in the sound of rushing water from the river and the little cabins tucked into the trees on either side of the path, and it’s actually pretty romantic.
There’s a little dock on the edge of the river. Decorated with more fairy lights. And no one’s on it, so Collin takes my hand and leads me over there.
While we’re walking, I’m freakin’ out a little bit. What is this? A date? I mean, like a real date? Is he going to kiss me? Why is my heart beating so fast? I think my palms are sweating.
We stop at the edge of the railing and he lets go of my hand, then leans his elbows on the railing. I push up against it. Being shorter than him, this evens us out. He looks over at me with those teal and brown swirly eyes of his—now dotted with fairy-light reflections—and smiles. “How disappointed?”
“What?”
“When you woke up and realized you still had your boots on.”
My laugh is immediate. “I didn’t know it was you when I woke up. I just opened my eyes and saw that fuckin’ Jim Morrison poster. It confused me for a moment, then I remembered what day it was. And my head was spinning, so I knew I got kinda drunk—”
“Lowyn.” He turns his body so he’s facing me. Straightens up so I have to tip my chin up to keep eye contact.
“What?”
“How. Disappointed?”
I let out a breath. “That I missed an opportunity with you? Or that I just missed an opportunity?”
“Ya know, the correct answer here is very.” I giggle. “‘I was very disappointed, Collin.’ That’s the right answer. And then I say, ‘Well, perhaps there is a way I can ease your disappointment, Lowyn McBride? Perhaps there is a way I can redress this issue.’”
“Are you coming on to me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gonna invite me to stay the night?”
He lets out a breath now too. “No. But I want to. It’s just…”
His pause is too long. “It’s just what?”
Collin Creed’s eyes are so pretty, I could stare at them for years. They search me now. Like I’m hiding some secret and he desperately needs it. “I was a dick, ya know?”