Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Red had never been like that.
Red was fucking intense. He’d always been right there with me, treating every moment as important, whether it was movie-watching or making love or discussing the fabrics of his favorite cowboy hats.
I shifted on the couch, making sure to keep a healthy distance from him.
At first, I thought it was going to be an extremely easy win. Frozen seemed… cute, but certainly not like something that would ever affect me emotionally.
But then there was a part about the sisters’ parents that nearly got me. I bit the inside of my cheek, fully aware that Red was looking over at me, seeing if I’d cracked.
“I see what we’re working with now, but I’m still going to win,” I told him.
The rain had started coming down outside, and the pattering only made the tavern feel cozier.
Red smiled, cocking his head to one side. “That’s what you think, huh?”
It started to feel like old times with Red. The quiet moments with him were always better than the biggest parties I ended up at in LA. I hadn’t realized that at the time—I was still chasing a high in whatever form I could find it—but it was so plainly obvious in situations like this.
I felt comfortable around Red, even after we’d been apart.
He brought out another round of the stupidly good virgin cocktails and I got suckered into the story of the movie way quicker than I’d expected to.
I held strong until the end.
A man who was supposed to love Anna completely betrayed her, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help myself.
A few tears rolled down my cheeks.
Red looked over and saw, and I expected him to laugh and tell me gotcha.
But instead he just reached over, running his palm in slow circles at the top of my back. He left his hand on me as the rest of the movie played, and when it ended, I involuntarily slumped down against Red’s shoulder.
“I know,” he said, rubbing larger circles on my back now. “I’m not going to say I told you so.”
“I fuckin’ lost, so hard,” I said into the top of Red’s sleeve.
“Yeah,” Red said. “It’s a really good movie.”
I pulled in a deep breath, sitting up straight again and meeting his eyes. “God, it is. Fuck you.”
He smiled. “I was surprised you held out as long as you did.”
I shook my head. “I was surprised it got me at all. I just… I thought about how many boyfriends had betrayed me just like that.”
Red furrowed his brow. “People have been that bad to you?”
I paused. “People have been bad, Red. Why do you think I left LA?”
His expression was still dark, concern on his face. “Is everything all right?”
“I think so,” I said, shrugging. I massaged my temples with my fingertips.
“Please talk to me,” Red said softly. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I puffed out a small laugh. “Don’t think I’ll ever be ready, so I may as well just spill right now.”
I didn’t know why I expected to see pity or mockery in his eyes, but there was none. He looked at me sincerely, and I felt like I barely deserved it.
“I was dating this guy named Colin,” I said, the words coming out fast and awkwardly. “Living with him, I guess, but really he just started coming over to my house every day and didn’t leave. It was fun at first, and we bonded because we’d both grown up with parents who hated that we were gay.”
“You felt sorry for him?”
“I felt sorry for him and I related to him. He was... a mess of broken parts, just like I was.”
Red hummed, listening close.
“Of course, Colin was totally enabling my drinking and drug use, since he did it too. But then he cheated on me. Once, twice. Over and over. He never stopped.”
“Shit,” Red said. He frowned, true concern on his face. Half of me had expected him to ask why I didn’t leave, to put the blame on me instead of on Colin.
But of course Red didn’t do that. He actually listened to me, with true concern on his face.
“Colin had an excuse every time. He was drunk, or he’d claim the person he cheated with was just an old friend. He told me I shouldn’t care about cheating, because I do porn and get fucked all the time.”
“But that’s your job. Those aren’t emotional connections, they’re not relationships. This Colin guy was aware of that, right?”
“Of course he was aware of it. When we first started dating, he couldn’t stop bragging about how he was with a porn star. Then everything started rapidly sliding downhill.”
Red’s expression was hard. “Liam, I’m going to ask you again. Colin never hurt you, did he?”
I shook my head. “Not physically. There were a few times I was worried about that, but… I don’t think he has it in him.”