Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
And then we were there, falling over the edge together in an orgasm that blew apart my body and my heart. He caught me, just like he always did, pulling me against his chest before my body fell limp, then stroked me through the aftershocks of the bliss until the last waves drifted away.
I buried my face in his neck as he stroked my back in long, soothing sweeps. Slowly, like the trickle of winter air through a drafty door, the cold truth of the reality that waited for us sank in.
He kissed me softly, then slid free.
I’d never felt so empty in my life.
He tucked himself away, then cleaned me up and helped me back into my underwear, and what could have been awkward was just incredibly sad.
“I love you.” He cradled my face and took another chunk of my soul with the look in his eyes. “Do me a favor and check in on Fin once or twice while I’m gone?”
I nodded. How could I not? I loved her.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“This doesn’t change—”
“Shh.” He kissed me quiet, then smiled. “I know. And I love you, anyway. Three months, Morgan.” He kissed me hard and deep, then ripped his mouth from mine and strode for the door without looking back.
I sank to the floor as the first tears fell. Please, God. Don’t take him. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t take Jackson, too. I wasn’t capable of living in a world where he didn’t. It wasn’t possible.
With careful breaths, I waited for the anxiety to come, but only fear and misery rose with my tears, and those grew to outright sobs. When Sam found me, I didn’t question how she knew. I simply sank into her hug and cried until I was empty.
“I know,” she whispered, rocking me back and forth like a baby. “I know. It’ll be over before you know it, I promise. You’ll get stronger every day. Just hold on and breathe.”
Did she realize her words applied to us both?
“You’ll get stronger. It’ll get easier.”
It became my mantra.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Morgan
Just promise me that you won’t let this break you. The idea of being your tragedy kills me.
Sam left two weeks after Jackson did. She’d protested the entire time, swearing she could stay longer if I needed her, but she’d taken all the time away from her life that she could, and I wasn’t going to make her miss a single day of graduate school.
Besides, Dr. Circe had cleared me from complicated grief treatment, and though I still saw her for anxiety, she assured me that the loss I still felt regarding Will was on a healthy, normal track.
The loss I felt from Jackson? Well, that was of my own making.
He’d been gone three weeks now, and breathing…it wasn’t easier, and when the anxiety gripped my throat and threatened to close it, I took my mind elsewhere and reminded myself that I didn’t have a boyfriend, so there was no need to be such a wimp about it.
I climbed into the truck and cranked the ignition. It roared to life, and I grinned. Today was the day, and since I had three weeks before school started, a brand-new master bathroom, and newly gutted spare bedrooms to make over, it was time to head to the hardware store.
Seat belt fastened and driver’s seat adjusted from Will’s last ride to my shorter frame, I put the truck in drive and…drove. “What were you listening to?” I asked him as I flipped on the stereo.
Johnny Cash filled the speakers, and I laughed. “Of course you were.” The scent of leather and Will still permeated the cab, so I rolled the windows down and let the humid ocean air fill the space as I drove the streets of the little town I’d decided to call home.
I bought supplies, put them in the bed, and climbed back into the driver’s seat. It was all so…normal, and yet Will was still everywhere. It wasn’t my truck—it was his. I brushed my thumb over his wings. Not those. They deserved to stay. My eyes drifted to his dog tags.
Carefully, I unwound them from the rearview mirror, clasped them tightly within my hand for a moment, then put them in the glove box and clicked it shut. A little less him…but it needed more me. I slipped my sea-glass pendant from my neck, then secured the chain carefully around the mirror. The glass swayed like a pendulum.
That was better. Now I was in here, too.
And so was Jackson.
I parked the truck in my driveway, gathered what supplies I could carry, and trudged up my steps.
“Oh, thank God,” Paisley drawled from the deck chair. “I took a cab from the airport, and when you weren’t here, I thought I was going to end up sleeping on your porch for the weekend!”