Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
“Jackson, is this…” I didn’t want to open the cover. Didn’t want to even think it might be.
“A first edition? Yeah. But don’t worry, it wasn’t as expensive as you’d think. I didn’t dip into Finley’s college fund or anything.” His eyes were bright with the simple joy of making me happy.
But this…this was anything but simple. It was a gift chosen with such thought and care that tears prickled my eyes and my chest expanded with a glow I was sure had to be visible.
Oh, my heart. Do not fall in love with this man.
Don’t fall? Or don’t admit it?
My stomach twisted and did its own falling.
His eyes dimmed. “Kitty, if you don’t like it, I can return it.”
“What?” I blinked myself free of my thoughts. “Oh no, Jackson, this is exquisite. Not just that you found a copy, but it’s the only one I haven’t read yet!” I flipped the cover and, sure enough, there was the publication date: 1919.
He flashed a smile. “I knew you were on a Virginia Woolf kick and checked your shelves. I figured it was a fitting present since you finish therapy in what…three more sessions?”
“Two,” I said softly. My grief had been at a nine—mostly because I refused to use my ten—when we’d begun, and last week’s session it had rated a three.
Three. It hadn’t even seemed possible when we’d started. And sure, I still had my triggers, but Dr. Circe said there was a chance those might never go away. There were some things that simply couldn’t be fixed, but they sure could be avoided.
“Well, now you have the last Virginia Woolf book to read as your reward.”
I carefully wrapped the book and put it back in the box to protect it. “You are incredible, Jackson. Thank you.” I kissed him.
“You might not think so in a few minutes, so I’ll take it.”
My brow furrowed. “Why?”
He shifted his attention to the box. “How are you going to read it in the box?”
I blinked. “I’m not. I’m going to buy one of those airtight display cases and protect it like the piece of art it is.”
His gaze whipped back to mine. “What’s the point of having it if you don’t read it?”
“What’s the point of having a first edition, priceless book if you don’t protect it?” I countered with a grin.
“You are an astounding woman, and I love you.” He shook his head, and the atmosphere in the room shifted as he took a deep breath. When his eyes met mine, there was a plea in them that I didn’t understand, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. “There’s no easy way to say this. I have to take a trip.”
“Okay?” I sat on the nearest stool and faced him so our knees touched. “Are we talking a few days or a week?”
“A few months.”
The world tilted on its axis. “I don’t understand.”
He leaned toward me and took my hand. “Hastings’s leg isn’t going to heal in time. He isn’t cleared to go. He’s livid, but there’s nothing he can do.”
“Go where?” My pulse skittered, and nausea threatened to bring my lunch back up.
“It’s basically a three-month vacation, when you think about it. Just a rotation.” His voice was level and calm, but his eyes weren’t.
“Jackson,” I warned. “Half answers are bullshit.”
He flinched. “You’re right. Okay. I have to deploy with the unit.”
The edges of my vision blurred, and his words all jumbled together.
“I wish we had better timing, but I have to deploy.”
My heart beat like a bass drum.
“It’s just three months, Kitty. That’s all. Three months and I’m back. Three months and then we have forever.”
“I mean, how hard could it be for us to wait nine months, considering how long we’ve been dancing around this?”
It was impossible to blink free of his voice. Couldn’t shove the memory back in the cassette tape and store it like I’d been taught by Dr. Circe. I ripped my hand from Jackson’s and pressed my fingers to my temples. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
“Shit. Babe, I can’t imagine how this sounds to you, but it’s nothing like what you’re thinking.” Jackson reached for me, but I leaned away from his touch. “I’m just going somewhere else to do the same job I do here. That’s all. Just flying.”
“It won’t be that bad, so I don’t want you to worry, which I know you will anyway, but flying is flying no matter where you do it.”
I slammed my eyes shut and tried to steady my breathing. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t possible.
“Morgan, honey—”
“You said you couldn’t go!” I shouted, the sound echoing off the tile floors. “You told me that because of Finley, you couldn’t go!”
When he reached for me again, I slid off my stool and stumbled backward until my back hit the island.
“No, Kitty.” There was so much pain in his eyes. “I said that I had a family care plan, but the captain decided to leave me behind because of Finley. It was a decision made for both the needs of the unit and compassion. Being a single parent doesn’t get you out of deployments.”