Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Everything I used to know and believe in, everything's changed now.
My whole life, God was simply this invisible force that I knew was good. But that was it. He never figured in the equation, and I realize now He never would have if I hadn't lost everything...in order to realize I had nothing without Him in the first place.
How are you so good to me, God?
Because I love you.
How can You forgive me when my parents can't even bear the sight of me?
Because I love you. And so do your parents, even if it may not seem so right now.
I just feel like a failure at times.
You are My beloved child, Acacia, and so is the baby you have in your womb. Both of you are My creation, and all that I create are good. Have faith in Me. I will be with you to the end of times.
ANOTHER WEEK PASSES, and it's a week that has me constantly fighting the urge not to text Ronan. But it's getting harder each day.
I'm not sure if it's a coincidence, but I seem to hear his name wherever I go. I'm at the flower shop one time, and its owner Ethan asks very casually if I wanted to be set up on a blind date with one of his friends. Guess who?!
I'm having lunch at Redwood Cafe when two female tourists walked in, both of them gushing about how "lucky" they were to have this little accident. Why, you ask? Because they got to visit the clinic and meet the local doctor, whose name I really do not want to think about.
I don't want to keep hurting and disobeying You, God.
But I also know I can't do this on my own.
What do You want me to do about Ronan?
My quiet life in Hartland has made me closer to God. And while that's never a bad thing, it's also made me see that there's still so much of my life I need His help with. Sex with Ronan was insanely addictive. He made me feel things I never thought were possible to feel. Made me do things I never thought I could. But at the end of the day, sex was just sex. Sex didn't last...the same way the love I once thought was for eternity didn't last.
Claude and I had started dating in high school. I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. And even though I had noticed how he seemed to have changed over the years, I still thought we were endgame. Until we weren't.
Claude had started pressuring me to have sex with him since we entered college, and after so many years of saying no, I had finally said yes.
I'm hurting so bad.
No one loves me.
You're the only one who loves me.
But if you keep saying no, it's like I have no one.
He needed me. I loved him. And so I gave in.
Because that was how I used to define love.
You do what the other person wanted, always.
Shame engulfs me when I recall how foolish and gullible I was. The only boy I ever loved...guilt-tripped me into giving him my virginity. And that same boy didn't hesitate to dump me when he found out I was carrying his baby.
Seeing Claude's true colors had cured me of my heartbreak, and I honestly thought I was over men for good...until him.
Ronan.
Memories flood my mind, and I can feel my cheeks turning hot even when I'm alone in my room. I've met other good-looking guys before, and Claude himself wasn't terrible to look at. So why then? Why was Ronan able to affect me in a way no other man could?
And why do I have to meet him now when it feels like it's too late?
Why now...when God's already made clear that this time...
He already has a plan, and the next man I'll kiss is the man I'll be married to for the rest of my life.
Chapter Nine
"I THINK YOU'RE IN LOVE with her," Eve Manolis declared sincerely. She turned to her boss, who was also her husband, asking earnestly, "Don't you think so, too?"
Ronan shot his friend a sardonic look. "Yes, do tell. Or better yet, remind me again of how you and Eve became a couple? Did you also believe you were in love with her from the start?"
Konstantin only smiled. "You make a good point. And the answer is no. Because I was a fool back then, and I ended up paying the price." Konstantin then turned back the table on the other man, drawling, "If you wish the same thing to happen in your life, far be it from me to stop you."
Ronan grimaced. He had walked straight into that one, and he only had himself to blame.
The three of them were seated in Konstantin's office at Stanhope Medical Center's newest branch in Laramie—a state-of-the-art facility that seemed more like a luxury hotel than a hospital, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering views of snow-capped mountains in the distance.