Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 108721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 544(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 544(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
The slight edge to his tone scares me, but Bel doesn't seem to notice or care, for that matter, because her eyes remain on me.
“Stay out of it,” Bel mumbles to him. Then she continues to me, “If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, you know where to find me. I’m always here for you.”
“I know, and I appreciate your friendship, but I’m okay. I promise.”
She hugs me wearily and then releases me, and I turn and start walking again. After a few minutes, I turn around, half expecting her to chase me, but she and Drew are gone now. I can finally relax. I love Bel and her kind little heart, but she tries too hard sometimes. Some people you just can’t fix; they have to fix themselves, and while I might be in need of fixing myself, I like all my broken pieces just fine. Sometimes it’s not the whole pieces that make you who you are, but the broken, chipped, and mismatched pieces you force together that make you…you.
I won’t deny that I thought maybe Sebastian and I might fit our broken pieces together in a way that might make a whole, but that ship has sailed now. I refuse to pine after a man who clearly doesn’t want me. I pick up my pace, trying to get back home.
No. Not home. It’s just the place where I'm keeping a few destroyed things for now. Sebastian’s house is no longer my home, and I’ll never be safe inside those four walls again. Not with the knowledge that Yanov got inside, even if it was only long enough to destroy my room. It leaves me wondering how safe I am in other parts of the house.
Yanov isn’t afraid of anything, and I know he’ll do it again. Hurting and scaring me are all he lives for. I just hope, even if I’m nothing to Sebastian, that he won't let Yanov take me. Even if it’s only out of a sense of challenge...to his property, no doubt—even if that’s all it is, I’ll take it.
After a few minutes, I find myself back on the estate grounds. I jog up the driveway, and when I reach the front door, I slip inside. I head straight through the kitchen, down the back hall, and into the hallway leading to my room. It's chilly down here since I haven't turned the heat on.
With trembling fingers, I unlock the door to my room, shove it open, and survey the scene.
I check the toothpick I placed at the top hinge. It's not broken, so...no one was here.
The relief I feel makes me lightheaded. Inside the room, I stare at the neatly made bed and then back at the stack of ripped-up books. I’ll have to use them for now since I can’t afford to get different ones.
Gingerly, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and place my plastic coffee cup on the bedside table before I fall back against the mattress. I stare up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell I’m doing. This room has lost its appeal, its safe aura. But it's the first place that was all mine, where I felt okay for a period. Now it’s been tainted, and I don’t know how to fix it. Or if I even can.
The only way I’ll feel secure again is if Yanov disappears, if he forgets my existence.
Did he come at my father's order?
I haven't seen him since the night he beat me into unconsciousness and shot me. Thankfully. But just because he hasn’t reached out or initiated a conversation doesn’t mean he’s not out there, looking for a way to make my life worse hell than it already is.
You’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.
That’s been my mantra for months, and it’s worked well until that night at the club. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to shake away the feeling of being watched. Ants march down my spine, making me shiver. The longer I think about it, the worse my thoughts become. Fear begins to claw open my chest, and I heave myself off the bed, crashing into the opposite wall.
I tried to do it. I tried, but I can't. I can’t stay in this room.
What if he finds me while I’m sleeping? The fear spikes, reaching its height, and I rush into the hall, up the stairs, and into the kitchen. It's a relief that it’s still empty. The last thing I need is to run into Sebastian or Tanya right now.
Not wanting to chance a run-in with either of them, I grab some leftovers I know neither will touch and slip out the side door onto the patio that leads out to the lawn. There’s one other place I can go to hide away from the rest of the world that makes me calm and brings me joy. A place that I doubt Yanov would ever think to look for me.