Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Her perfectly botoxed forehead barely wrinkles but I see the question in her eyes. “We’ve been over this, Sebby. It wasn’t rape; it was love.”
I surge to my feet the word love echoing in my mind. “How dare you!! Equating rape to love. You don’t know the meaning of love!” I snap.
Again, she ignores me like I don’t exist, and I have half a mind to bring the knife Sebastian just gave me over and show her that I’m here and not going anywhere.
Except, this isn’t about me. I don’t need to protect Sebastian. This is his trauma to accept and face. But it doesn’t make any of this easier. The thought of seeing yet another death blankets my gut with a deep and bone dense dread.
Like a shark scenting blood in the water, Sebastian circles Tanya, and when he’s behind her, he swipes out with the knife at the back of her neck. A thin red line blooms and a few crimson drops of blood seep out.
Tanya throws herself forward, clutching at the small wound like he’s gutted her. She sobs out one long wail and plants herself on her stomach for a moment.
“I said I’d kill you. I didn’t say it would be an easy death.”
I watch the man I love turn into this creature of ice cold stillness, and God, it hurts. “Sebastian…”
Some part of me needs to know he’s still in there. My Sebastian is still behind that cold, indifferent mask.
He focuses on me again, and it takes a minute for his gaze to resettle. I give him a pleading look. “Come here, please.”
With no argument, he sits beside me on the couch and tugs my hips until they touch him. “Can you handle this, Ely? Or do you want to go somewhere else? In the other room with Drew and them?”
I shake my head and tug his hands up to kiss his knuckles. “No, I need to be here for you. I’m stronger than I look.”
“Strong enough to sit here and watch me cut her until she admits every vile filthy thing she’s done to me?” His voice drops, with a slight tremble that gives way to vulnerability. “I’m strong, too, but I’m not sure I could watch you do something like that.”
“We do this together. Fight the demons of our past. No more secrets. I can carry this, too, until you’re able, just like you did for me. I’m not judging you. I’m judging her.”
There’s a scuffle by the door, and we look away from each other in time to see Tanya trying to stumble her way out.
Seb surges to his feet, grabs her by the back of her dress and throws her down to the floor hard enough my knees ache in sympathy with the impact. It’s nothing she doesn’t deserve. He crouches down to her level again, his eyes on her widespread fingers.
The knife descends, and I squeeze my eyes closed. I can be here, but I’m not sure if I can watch him dissect her.
Tanya wails again, and I have to look. I have to know. This cut, on the back of her hand, is a two-inch wide gash, blood pouring between her fingers like a lover’s hand entwining with hers.
"Let's discuss specifics," he croons, and I feel another wave of icy indifference wash over me as I watch Sebastian. "Do you remember the time you brought over a few friends and had me satisfy all of them?"
Tanya settles back on her heels, rocking slightly, her makeup smudged all over her cheeks.
"I call that a fantasy. What man wouldn't want multiple women at once?"
Sebastian glares and swipes out. This cut goes across her forearm in one wide gash, blood flowing forth immediately and sliding down to the floor beside her.
Tanya stares at it open-mouthed like she can't believe he did it. Sebastian is gazing off over her shoulder now. "Man? I think you’re forgetting a very important detail…. That I wasn’t a man. That I was a boy, a boy that you forced to grow up too fast, a boy that you took something from when it wasn’t yours to take. Now I have to live with that, and before I end your pathetic life, you’ll get a small taste of what it’s like to live with that, too.”
Tears fall fast down Tanya's cheeks but it seems like she's given up the theatrics at least. "Tell me what you want me to say, Sebastian, and I'll say it. I'll go, and leave you to your...wife," she bites out.
Sebastian laughs that cold laugh again, and I wrap my arms around myself tight, holding myself there, to keep from going to him and soothing away all this pain, all this hate. Is this who I was before I killed Yanov? The thought makes me freeze. Shit. I remember who I was after Yanov, and now a slow slither of fear replaces everything else.