Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
"Why?"
I consider my response. Part of me wants to tell her I love her, but love is…it’s strange. Do I love Elyse? Sure, but I want to tell her without any of this shit between us. I don’t want her to think I’m saying it because we’re married, or because it’s the right thing to do. I want to tell her at the perfect time, when it matters most.
So instead of telling her, I say something else. Something only solidifying her belief I see her as a possession.
"You belong to me, and I take care of what belongs to me."
"Is that it? That's the only reason."
Tell her. Just say it you fucking idiot. But I can’t make the words come out. I can’t.
"How do you like your eggs?"
"Scrambled," she whispers, and I watch her, my heart aching in my chest as she stares at her knees. When I finish the eggs I plate them and hand her a fork.
She takes the food and shovels in immediately. I watch her as she takes tiny bites, each one filling me with happiness, because I know she’s protected, healthy, and eating.
That all ends when she stops and offers me a fork full of eggs.
Something in my chest creaks, groans, and opens. "No, I made them for you."
She doesn't say anything, but extends the fork out a little more. This time I don't bother arguing and accept her offer. They taste like you would expect—eggs—but for some reason they taste like the best fucking eggs ever when she feeds them to me.
I know it’s because no one has ever cared for me the way she does. Even after everything that’s happened, what I’ve done…she still cares. The knowledge settles deep within me, companion to an unspoken vow forming on the tip of my tongue: I will love this woman until my very last breath is strangled in my lungs. I will fight for that privilege.
And somehow…I’ll make her love me back.
While she continues to eat, occasionally offering me a bite or two, I take the spot beside her on the counter. "Things are moving fast, faster than I want, and we have a lot to discuss, but right now there are more pressing matters.”
“Like what?”
“When we are in public I need you to act the part. It’s important, and will solidify any rumors about our marriage. We need to be convincing. I need you to be my wife.”
“I thought I was already your wife. More pretend...”
I smirk, “You’re my wife in every meaning of the word. But this is different. I need you to show everyone else you want to be my wife. I will need you to listen to me, to follow directions. I will need you to behave, and not put up a fight against every word I say. I’m doing this to protect you, yes, but I’m also doing this so everyone can be certain we’re together. So they know you’re off limits. If I had your cooperation it would make all of this easier.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll do what you want, but I want you to treat me like a human. Not like a possession or thing. I want freedom…respect…dignity. I can be your wife and still be myself.”
“When did this turn into a negotiation?”
She grins. “I’m not negotiating. I will do whatever you want me to do within reason. I just don’t want to lose any more of the person I am to the darkness of this life. I’ve sacrificed so much, too much at the cost of my own happiness, and I can’t do that anymore.”
She’s right and I can’t deny her happiness, not when I know how much all of this is hurting her. I have to keep her safe but not suffocate her. I’ve never seen her as a possession or item. Never seen her as anything other than Elyse, but I guess I need to work on showing her.
“Okay, but Ely?”
She tilts her head in reply, waiting. “Just know you will never be lost in the darkness. I live here, Little Prey. The dark is my home, and I’ll make you my beacon in it if that’s what you want.”
She only smiles, but it’s the kind of smile which makes me hope for better days, and when she feeds me another fork full of eggs, I take it.
Anything to bring her back to me, to bring us back to the way things used to be.
CHAPTER 13
ELYSE
After that night, we fall into this strange rhythm. I mean if you call tiptoeing around each other for fear of causing a catastrophic crash a rhythm. As time passes and I think more about him killing his grandfather, I become less frightened and more understanding. I can’t judge him for what he did. I don't know the entire story, since he hasn't deigned to share it with me, but I have no doubt Sebastian had his reasons.