Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
“I swear to God, Nick. If you don’t put me down—”
“You’ll what?” I demand, tearing open the passenger side door and depositing her into the seat. “You’ll have a tantrum and run away to New York so you can avoid having to deal with anything real?”
She glares at me, and I take a step back, closing the door between us before I end up with those full lips crushed against mine, because God knows if I touch her like that, if I even think about her like that right now, I won’t be able to stop until we’re both lying in the back of this damn truck, covered in sweat with her throat raw from screaming my name.
With the tree properly secured, I get into my truck, overwhelmed by her scent in the air. “Where’s your coat?” I ask, kicking over the old engine and easing onto the gas as I turn the truck around, more than ready to get out of this old farm and back to reality.
“I’m fine,” she mutters.
“You’re blue.”
She rolls her eyes, and I can’t help but reach into the backseat of the truck and grab my coat before tossing it at her, because let’s face it, neither of us is capable of being mature about this right now. I don’t say a word and neither does she as she shoves her petite arms into my coat, and I don’t miss the way she pulls it tight around her, sinking her face into the soft material just like she used to, but back then, it was because she was breathing in my scent on the coat . . . now, I’m not quite so sure.
Turning out of the farm’s parking lot, I hit the highway and sail back toward Blushing.
With every silent passing second, the tension rises in the truck, and I’m forced to put my window down just so I can take a deep breath without feeling as though I’m dying inside.
Blair stares out the window, her fidgeting hands picking at her deep red nail polish. It’s the only tell that she’s just as messed up as I am right now.
The silence is torture, and the longer I sit here beside her, unable to call her mine, the harder it gets. My fingers tighten on the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white until I can’t take it a second longer. “You just left, Blair. You didn’t even give me a chance to fight for us.”
Silence. Fucking silence.
“Nick, I—”
“No,” I say, cutting her off as I shake my head. “I don’t want your bullshit excuses for how you could so easily throw it away without a fucking care in the world.”
“Is that really what you think? That I just got up one day and walked out the door without even considering what it meant for the people around me? Do you honestly think that little of me?”
“You know I don’t, Blair. I’ve always loved you more than life itself, but that’s exactly what you did. I barely got a conversation. You were here one day, and we were planning to build a fucking life together, and then the next day you were gone.”
Tears well in her eyes but she focuses her attention out the window, concealing her face as she discreetly wipes her tears onto my coat. “I know you, Nick, better than anyone,” she says, her voice breaking with the most intense heartache that kills something inside of me. “You never would have come to New York with me. You love it here in Blushing. This is your home, but I needed to see what was out there for me, even if it meant tearing myself in two. You never would have come with me.”
I gape at her, my heart thundering out of control. “Of course I fucking would have,” I throw at her, watching as her wide gaze whips back toward mine, staring at me in horror, as if only now just realizing how deeply she fucked up. “I would have followed you to the fucking ends of the world, but you didn’t even give me the fucking option. You walked away without a fucking care in the world, and you didn’t give a shit what you were leaving behind. You didn’t even ask me, Blair. You didn’t give me or us a fucking chance.”
Her tears fall faster, and she presses her trembling lips together. I focus my attention back on the road, unable to handle the hurt in her eyes. “Was it even real to you?” I ask softly, fearing her response. “I thought we were starting a life together.”
“How could you even ask me that?” she asks, her voice wavering. “Every second of it was real for me. You have no idea how much I’ve hurt over these past six years, how much it aches just to think about you moving on.”