Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99434 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
I raised my hand to my face. “Apparently I’m not doing a very good job.”
“I like them. They remind me you’re real. Sometimes after you leave, I start to wonder if I’ve imagined you.”
For some reason, that caused my heart to swell.
A guard interrupted by popping his head in for his occasional check. “Everything okay in here?”
I waved and nodded. “All good. Thanks, Marcus.”
“Be back in half an hour for the start of class.”
My face fell. The few hours alone with Gray each Saturday had become the highlight of my week. But they seemed to go faster and faster lately. By the time I’d relaxed enough to again convince myself I wasn’t crazy for starting to fall for a man who lived in a federal prison, it felt like it was time to begin class. I’d started to arrive three hours early every week, feigning the need to prep for the course with Gray. But the two of us really just sat across from each other and learned everything we could in the time we had. It was like a date—I spent extra time getting ready beforehand, felt the adrenaline rush when he walked into the room, and wanted to know more and more about him. The hardest part, though, was trying to ignore our physical connection. It was always present, and last week, we’d ventured into new territory when Gray described the kiss he wanted to give me. I never knew just talking about being physical could be so erotic.
“Your turn,” Gray said.
My mind had jumped the tracks. “For what?”
Gray’s eyes dropped to my lips, and the corner of his mouth twitched like he knew where I’d gone in my head. “Your turn to tell me something no one else knows.”
When I didn’t immediately respond, I looked back up and found Gray’s hint of a smile had grown into a full-blown grin. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it.
“Ummm…” I thought of something not even my best friend knew about, but might be too crazy to share. “I have a yeahway notebook.”
His brows drew together. “A what?”
“A yeahway notebook. Well, actually, it’s more like seven yeahway notebooks now.”
“What exactly is a yeahway notebook?”
“It’s a list of things I analyze to decide yeahway or no way. Don’t knock the name. I started it when I was seven. I’d asked my dad if we could get a dog, and he said a dog needed a lot of exercise, had to be cleaned up after, and was expensive. I said they were good as watchdogs and would teach me responsibility. He laughed and told me it was a nice try, but the pros outweighed the cons. So that night, I took out a fresh notebook, opened to the first page, and drew a line down the middle. I wrote out all the pros and cons I could think of, and then took another shot at my dad. Of course I’d come up with twenty-five pros and only ten cons.”
Gray smiled. “The lawyer in you came out early, I see.”
“Yeah. My list didn’t change his mind, but my mom did, so we ended up getting the dog anyway. And I found I liked writing out the pros and cons of things. Sort of helped me organize my thoughts.”
“What other type of stuff do you make lists for?”
“Anything. Everything. Should I kiss Danny Zucker in eighth grade? Should I go away to college? Is it worth spending fourteen hundred dollars on a pair of leather boots.”
Gray’s eyes glinted. “Did you kiss Danny Zucker?”
I held up my left hand and started to tick off the pros. “He was popular. He had nice lips. He had experience kissing.” I held up my right hand and ticked off the cons. “His experience included swapping spit with…” I wrinkled up my nose. “Amanda Ardsley.” I ticked off more cons. “Everyone knew all the girls he’d kissed before, so people would probably know I did it, too. Germs. Braces.” I ticked up my last finger on my right hand and deadpanned. “Halitosis.”
Gray threw his head back in laughter. “I take it poor Danny lost out.”
I grinned. “He did.”
“Did you go away to college?”
“I did. That was probably my most uneven list. The cons had that I’d miss my mom and friends. And that I was afraid. The pros took up a front and back.”
“Boots?” he said.
“I’ll wear them for you next week.”
I really loved the little crow’s feet around his eyes when his full face smiled.
“And you’ve kept all the notebooks where you do these pros and cons lists?”
“Yep. Seven full notebooks dating back close to twenty years. They’ve sort of become my own peculiar version of a diary.”
“Do you still do it? Make lists?”
I bit my bottom lip and debated telling him the one I’d started working on last week. “On occasion. I find it soothing for some reason.”