Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79969 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Because there had been hints over the years that there was something there. Like when he'd rubbed my shoulders, and my body had set fire. Like how that kiss had made it feel like I never wanted to stop.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"You seem different here," Miller said, changing tactics.
"Different?"
"I don't know. You're still dressed like you, but you seem calmer, less frazzled. You don't have your shoulders jacked up and your spine all tense."
"I played games and watched TV. And ate tacos."
She smiled at that, seeming to understand that while for most people, those were not groundbreaking declarations, but for me, it was huge.
"Tacos beat the hell out of garden salads, don't they?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"Alright, look," she said, pursing her lips for a second. "I don't think it's gonna happen."
"What?"
"Kai making a move. I don't think it is gonna happen." Those words made a sinking feeling move through my center. "He's just too good, y'know? He will be treating you with kid gloves for a while, thinking you're too hurt - physically and emotionally - to think straight. Which is sweet. Sexist as fuck, but sweet. Then, enough time is going to pass that he is going to feel like he missed his shot. Then he will be insecure. And it will never happen. So.... I think you need to ovary-up, Jules."
"Ovary-up?" I asked, brows drawing together.
"If you want him - and that is an if. Because I don't mean 'I am heartbroken over my ex being a fuckhead, and I want someone to make me feel better' kind of want. I mean want. Him. The whole package. In a serious way. But if that is what you decide after some soul searching, then you are going to be the one to need to make the first move."
"I... I don't really make first moves."
"Well, get over that. If you want to see how Kai's devotion translates in the sheets. Okay," she said, clapping suddenly, pushing away from the wall. "So, that was some successful girl talk, right?"
"Right," I agreed with a smile.
"And look... not a bottle of nail polish or a face mask in sight. Go us."
With that, she was gone, leaving me sitting there, thinking.
"Hey you," Lincoln said from the doorway a moment later, taking up the space, watching me with knowing eyes. "I've always wanted to come into Jules' Room. I mean, he never called it that, but it is pretty obvious. How you holding up, sweetheart?" he asked, moving to sit beside me off the bed. "How you doing? And don't feed me assurances. How are you really?"
"I'm... digesting still," I admitted. "Now that more people know, I think I will feel a bit better."
"Shrouding it in shame was silly in the first place," he informed me, giving my knee a squeeze. "I get it, but I hope you are seeing now that it is better to share it, to bring us in. We will always be here for you, Jules. We don't just care about you because you make great coffee and keep the office running smoothly. We care about you."
"I get that now," I agreed, nodding.
I wasn't sure how long I had placed my worth in my usefulness, in my productivity, but I was finally starting to understand that there was more to me that people might feel drawn to, that I was more than what I brought to the table.
"No more going off on your own chasing down scumbags. Agreed?"
"Agreed," I promised.
"Come on out. Kai is making breakfast," he told me.
So I did.
And I shared a meal and a few hours with these people who I had only ever known as coworkers before, not so much as human beings.
And, well, it was one of the best mornings in my recent memory.
They headed out a while later, Quin demanding I take all the time I need - but hopefully not too long. Smith and Lincoln gave me a smile. Miller, well, Miller made a circle with one fist and thrust a finger in and out of it when Kai wasn't looking, shooting me a wink before heading out.
"Told you that you could trust them, Jules. They all care about you. Even Gunner."
"I see that now," I agreed, feeling my heart swell up.
"Here," he said, holding out an envelope.
"Wow. That's everything, huh? I felt like it should be so much bigger."
"Bellamy got you large bills."
I nodded at that, opening the envelope, seeing my future restored to me. I was still on track. If not with the marriage and kids part, then at least with the home part. I could plant a garden - something I used to love doing with my grandmother when I would visit as a kid. I could decorate, make a life for myself. And then worry about the wife and mom part later.
The schedule didn't seem to matter to me as much as it used to.