Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 125368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
I remembered the fire.
I remembered watching the estate crumbling down.
I remembered screaming…screaming until it felt as if my throat were bleeding from inside.
A lot happened afterward, but I couldn’t seem to focus on anything.
The end.
It was everything I had wanted.
Yet…
I wanted to escape, I wanted freedom—but not at the cost of my friend.
Oh God.
Irina.
I could hear her voice, her sweet voice. I could feel her. I saw her smile, heard her laughter. She reached out to me.
I ran faster, trying to hold on to her. She was so close…yet so far.
Irina, I screamed. Please don’t go.
My heart seized in agony. Our fingers touched, just the tips. It was a whisper of a touch, so light…and then I lost it. She faded into the darkness. I could hear my own screams. Raw. Loud. Agonized.
She was getting closer to the edge, and I ran toward her.
Don’t fall. Please.
“Irina!”
She smiled.
She reached out to me.
My hand lashed out, to try and hold her.
She fell.
NO!
My body went cold and my eyes snapped open. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around myself. Someone touched my cheek, and my gaze found him.
Viktor.
His lips touched the corner of my mouth, so sweetly. I was on his lap, wrapped in his embrace. Yet I couldn’t feel warm. I was still so cold. Deep inside, there was a hollow pit. Endless and dark.
I looked up at his face, bruised and…sad. His dark eyes, they held anguish. I cupped his face with my hands, and he leaned into my touch.
“I am sorry,” he said, once again.
He had said those words so many times already. Countless times. “I am so fucking sorry.”
“Will it bring back Irina?” I whispered through my dry, cracked lips.
Viktor flinched. I knew it hurt…like it hurt me. Our wounds were still new, still fresh…so deep, I wondered if we’d ever heal.
His lips moved and his words shattered me again. “No.”
“Then don’t say you are sorry. Please. Just stop…saying…that. Stop.”
He nodded, a small heartbreaking nod. “Valerie, I did what I—”
I choked back a sob. “Don’t. Don’t say it,” I whimpered. My chest squeezed and my ribcage seemed to close in around my lungs. It felt suffocating. I inhaled and then released a shuddering breath.
My hands were trembling to the point I couldn’t hold them up any longer. I let go of Viktor’s face, my arms falling helplessly to my lap.
His grip tightened on my lips. Viktor pulled me closer into him, so close there was no room for air between our bodies. His hold on me was a band of steel, trapping me in his embrace. As if he were scared to let go…and I’d disappear.
The cold bars of the cage surrounded me once again.
Trapped.
Broken.
A torment so deep, it ate away at my flesh. It carved into my skin, shredding me apart so I was left bleeding…while still breathing. Still surviving, but not really living. Just there, but not really present. It crawled inside me, forcing its way into my fragile heart. The damage had been done.
Happiness was just on the other side…but I found myself slipping away.
Every single bone in my body shuddered with grief, with the need to sink into the ground. The tears spilled down my cheeks, a silent suffering for a friend I loved…and I lost.
Viktor and I stayed like this for a long time. He didn’t say a word. Only the sound of me sniffling could be heard. After some time, I eventually noticed my surroundings. It was not familiar. Everything had been a daze since I saw the estate explode. A lot of things happened, but it was all a blurred mess. My mind had refused to work, and I was only able to focus on one thing. Irina.
“We are in a private plane,” Viktor said when I gave him a questioning look. He swallowed and his gaze slithered to the small window. It was dark outside. “I am bringing you home.”
My body shook. The world trembled. I am bringing you home. His home. Our home. Freedom. Happiness.
The knife dug deeper into my chest, twisting, and I bled more. My gut churned and I closed my eyes, feeling my warm tears slide down my cold cheeks. Would I ever be warm again?
“She wanted to be free too, you know.” I broke the silence. “She wanted a happily ever after too. She wanted to find love too. She…just…wanted…to be happy…too.”
I felt Viktor breathe, his chest moving and then shuddering when he released a shaky breath. His hands shook at my sides as he held me. “Irina just…wanted…she…deserved…a happy…ending.”
I choked back another wounded cry before sucking in another breath. I was alive…she wasn’t breathing.
“I had her for a moment…I was able to hold her. Happy…and then…I lost her. You…left her there…to die.”
Each word cut me deeper.
Each breath hurt more.
Each heart beat I felt in my chest…It was filled with devastating sorrow.