Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 162369 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 812(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 541(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162369 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 812(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 541(@300wpm)
Glancing at him once more before he reaches the top of the stairs, my heart jumps into my throat. There, on the landing, is a tennis ball that wasn’t there before. Standing over it are Cherry and Jasper—transparent as mist but unmistakably there, tails wagging, following Alex to the bedroom. He doesn’t see them, but maybe someday, he will.
A bittersweet smile touches my lips. The pain in my heart eases a little.
They’re not gone, not just memories, but still here with us.
Chapter 22
ALEX
I didn’t make it to the shower. I flopped on my bed, completely physically and mentally drained, and didn’t have the strength to get back up.
The icy chill is still in my bones, the same way it clung to me when Brianna passed away.
As much as I tried to deny it, I knew this day would come. Once Cherry started limping, she became a small, furry time bomb, slowly ticking away the moments we had left. I tried to mentally prepare myself for it, but that’s fucking impossible. You can’t prepare yourself to lose someone you love. What you do is love them even harder.
And in the end, it just fucking hurts more than you ever thought it could.
Cherry was my partner in grief. She loved Bri as much as I did. Missed her as much as I did. And just like me, she denied herself things that used to make her happy.
Until Penny came along.
What is it about Penny?
Somehow, she lifts the veil of darkness. Like a ribbon, she’s wound herself around me, Lily, and Cherry—threading us together, stitching our broken places. There’s a vague familiarity about her that flicks a little switch in my mind that flashes, Oh, there you are, every time she’s near.
But even Penny’s ethereal presence can’t change the fact that my beautiful dog is alone in a box in the cold ground right now, and I have to force my brain to accept that everything that happened today was the last of all the everythings with Cherry.
It hurts like hell.
I throw my arm over my face. My head is throbbing. My heart is broken. My entire body is aching and shivering.
And my soul is so fucking lonely.
Sleep doesn’t come to rescue me because my old friends, guilt, regret, and bargaining, are having a party in my gut, keeping me awake. As I lie there staring into the darkness, movement in the hallway catches my eye. I assume it must be Penny using the hall bathroom, but then her shadow darkens my doorway.
I pretend to be asleep like I always do when she tiptoes into my room in the middle of the night. She’ll stand next to the bed, quiet as a mouse, watching me. After a few minutes, she’ll slip out just as quietly as she came. I don’t know if she’s sleepwalking or if she’s awake, but this time, when she turns toward the door to leave, I grab her hand.
She lets out a yelp of surprise.
“What are you doing?” she whispers.
“I think that’s my line.”
Pulling her hand from mine, she says, “I-I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You never came back downstairs, you haven’t eaten all day—” Her voice is congested from crying, and it makes my heart hurt even more.
“I feel too sick to eat,” I mumble.
“Did you take a hot shower?” she asks softly. “That might help.”
I shake my head. “I can’t. My head is killing me. Everything hurts.”
She turns on her heel and goes into my bathroom. The sound of her rummaging around, then running water, breaks the silence. When she comes back, she sits on the edge of the bed and hesitantly pulls my eye patch off.
My body stiffens. Even though it’s dark, I don’t want her to see me that way. “Penny…”
“Shh…” she says, placing a hot, wet washcloth over my face. “Just let me take care of you for once, okay? I could use a distraction, or else I’m just going to keep crying.”
I’m powerless to protest. I can’t stand to see her cry. And, I have to admit, the warmth feels good on my forehead, melting into my sinuses.
“Lily called earlier,” she says quietly. “I told her you were asleep.”
“Did you tell her?” I can’t say the words. Not yet.
“Yes. She said she’s very sorry, and she loves you.” Her voice wavers with tears. “She feels bad that she wasn’t here for us.”
I inhale a deep breath through the cloth. “I’m glad you were here when it happened. It means a lot. Are you okay?”
She sniffles. “My heart feels obliterated, but I’m glad she passed peacefully. I’m grateful I was here and able to kiss her goodbye. I’m just going to miss her so much.”
Suddenly, I remember walking up behind Penny earlier as she was leaning over Cherry’s body, saying goodbye. I could’ve sworn I heard her say I’ll never forget the day Daddy brought you home…