Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
“So next Friday. You can give me your answer then.” Pippa pursued the subject determinedly.
“Okay. Thanks.”
She nodded, satisfied, and when my gaze hit Jen, I caught her exchanging a pleased look with Greg.
Dammit.
As much as Rafe’s parents might like me, maybe they wanted their son with someone who was serious about her career.
Not that I wasn’t serious about my future. I was serious about my pursuit of happiness. But I just . . . I’d spent most of my life living under the beliefs my parents instilled in me. To be free of ties and obligations and to live life by the second.
Between discovering Arlo’s hypocrisy, that both my parents paid for health insurance, and the realization that being in a committed relationship with Rafe didn’t scare me, I found myself floundering. What did I want? Did I want to continue living my life day to day, never knowing how much money was coming in? Or did I want a job I knew I’d have until I retired? An actual career. One that would allow me to save for that rainy day in the future. What if I decided to have kids? It was a possibility. Unlike Arlo and Dawn, I liked kids!
As much as I hated the way he’d said it, Hugo was right. There would come a time when I would no longer be desirable as a Disney princess. That was the harsh reality of life.
But what about my plans to travel across the country?
Did I really want to do that, or had I only wanted to do that to escape having to think about my future?
It all made my brain hurt.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“You’re quiet over there,” Rafe observed as soon as we got into his car to leave. “I hope Pippa didn’t freak you out. You know you can say no to her, right?”
“I know,” I assured him. “It just took me by surprise. And . . . honestly got me thinking a little.”
“About what?” He dropped his hand from the ignition to turn to me, giving me his full attention.
I loved that about him.
So I told him everything that was whirring around in my head.
He considered my words once I’d finished. “Is there something you want to do with your life? A passion?”
A tightness fisted in my chest. “I don’t know. Is that pathetic? I’m twenty-eight.”
“Yeah, you’re really old,” he teased as he reached out to cup my cheek. “Hey, you have time to figure out what you want. But don’t let Pippa push you into something you don’t want just because you’re confused right now.”
“When we first met, I meant it when I told you my only ambition was to be happy.”
“I know that. And as much as I didn’t understand it, I admired your clarity. I still do.”
“But everything I believed was built on the bullshit my parents passed on to me . . . and, honestly, I think now, looking back, that I’ve lived my life a certain way not just because of what they taught me but because of everything they didn’t give me. I’ve felt abandoned most of my childhood, and I think I’ve just been doing everything I can to not find myself in that position again where I’d feel abandoned. So no ties. To anything. No career I could pour my heart into only to fail at it or have a boss fire me. No guy to commit to in case he didn’t want to commit back.” Tears burned in my eyes. “Until you.”
Rafe’s expression was so tender as he smoothed his thumb over my cheek. “That’s a big epiphany, Star. It’s a lot to deal with. But you know I’m here to talk things out. Or just to be here, whatever you need.”
Those tears threatened to let loose. “It doesn’t bother you that I don’t know what I want beyond wanting to be happy?”
He shook his head, eyes dark with affection. “Just honored I get to be there to watch you find what it is you want.”
God, I liked him. So much. “I really like you.” I repeated my words from that morning.
Rafe stroked my cheek with his thumb one more time. “I really like you too. And I meant what I said. If you need to talk about your parents, your childhood, in order to process everything, I’m here,” he repeated.
“I think I’d like that.” A safe place to finally let go of all the pain I’d kept locked down for such a long time. Pain that flared to life every time my calls and texts to my parents went unanswered. I hadn’t heard from Dawn in months. Arlo’s nurse, Maggie, kept me updated on his progress via texts. But that was it.
My parents were the worst.
However, my boyfriend was the freaking best.
Feeling more settled by his faith and reassurance, I blinked back my tears and relaxed as I watched him pull out of his parents’ driveway. About ten minutes later, however, he unexpectedly turned off the highway and drove down a narrow road into woodlands.