Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“Oh my goodness,” she gasped, rubbing her hands against the sides of her head. “I’m so sorry, Kai. I didn’t mean to have a full-blown breakdown and take up your night.” As she sat back on my couch, I watched as the realization came back to her about what had happened. “I’m pretty embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you came here instead of sitting alone with your thoughts.” I shifted in my seat and rubbed my hand against the back of my neck. “And those are wrong, you know. Whatever your thoughts are right now, they are wrong.”
Her bottom lip twitched a little as she slightly shook her head. “He ghosted me.”
“He’s a coward.”
“I’m just trying to figure out what I did wrong.”
“You did nothing wrong. Matthew is a coward,” I repeated. “Aren’t you happy to realize his cowardness now instead of months or years down the line?”
“Silver linings?” she asked.
“They’re always there. Sometimes, you have to search to spot them.” I listened as her stomach rumbled, and she wrapped her arms around herself. I stood. “Let me make you something to eat.”
“No, no. I already took up enough of your time. I should get back to my place anyway.” She stood, seemingly timid.
I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her down, lowering her back to the couch. “Let me cook you something.”
“Are you sure?”
“Holly. Don’t move.”
She nodded and sat cross-legged on the couch as I headed to the kitchen.
“I have brisket leftovers. Mano had a brisket grilled cheese for dinner. Want me to make you that? Or I can run to the restaurant and whip you something up with the ingredients there.”
“No, no. The grilled cheese is great. Thank you.”
I nodded once. “Always.”
“Don’t say always if you don’t mean it,” she joked.
I locked eyes with hers. “Always,” I repeated.
I made two brisket grilled cheeses, one for her and one for myself. I placed them on the coffee table in the living room with a few paper towels before grabbing two glasses of water for us both. I sat down beside Holly and watched as she dived into the dinner.
“This is quite the fancy grilled cheese sandwich.”
“Gouda, muenster, and cheddar,” I told her. “With an herb butter spread.”
“I need more mental breakdowns at your place if they all end like this.”
I smiled a little. At least she was being her somewhat jokey self. That was a good sign and a transition from seeing her so upset earlier. If I ever saw Matthew again, I’d be more than willing to give him a piece of my mind. How dare he treat my Holly like that.
My Holly.
What the hell, Kai?
I watched her every movement for a few seconds before I dived into my sandwich. She wasn’t wrong—it was quite the gourmet grilled cheese sandwich. We were silent for a while. For the past few years, I’d lived in silence. But now, with Holly around, I seemed always to want her words. I wanted to see her mind and how it ticked. I wanted her to express every single thought that lived within that beautiful, fragile mind of hers.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“Do you want to listen?”
“I do.”
Her brown eyes looked at me, and I saw flakes of honey gold streaming through them. Holly had the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. She had the most beautiful everything I’d ever seen, but her eyes…those felt special.
It blew my mind that Matthew could look into those eyes and decide he’d never want to stare into them again. If I had a chance…
Seriously, what the actual hell, Kai?
She placed her plate down and wiped her hands with the paper towel. “I feel like there’s not a person out there for me. That sounds dramatic and unrealistic, but logic leaves the room when emotions get involved.”
“You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling,” I told her. “But just know it’s my job to tell you that you’re completely wrong.”
She smiled a little and placed a hand on my kneecap. “Thanks, Kai.”
Every time she touched me, I silently prayed that her touch would stay a little longer.
“You’re welcome.”
Tell her.
Tell her, you idiot.
Tell her about your feelings.
Tell her about how she stays on your mind for hours, for days.
Tell. Her.
Instead, I stayed silent. The last thing Holly needed was me to dump my feelings on her when she was heartbroken over another man. The time wasn’t right. So instead, I let her talk as long as she needed to, and then I said good night.
After Holly left, Mano came out of his room, shaking his head at me.
“What?” I asked.
“I’ve never seen someone fumble a situation in such a major way.”
“Excuse me?”
“That was your chance to tell her how you feel, Kai. She was sleeping in your lap for hours! You could’ve put on Marvin Gaye and smooth-talked her for hours.”