Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Inside there’s a folding table where Avril spreads out the plans she’s had drawn up. “You’ve seen the financials, so you know it works from a business perspective.”
“I’ve seen some financials. But I haven’t stress-tested them. There’s no such thing as a cut-and-dried, guaranteed win in business.”
She groans. “Let me show you the plans. We’ll start with floor two, which is a standard bedroom floor. Because of the shape of the building, the architect says it will be easy to maximize the space. We’ve ended up getting five more rooms than we projected in the financials, so it’s an even better proposition.” She keeps talking about square footage and the average hotel room size in New York City. She seems to have every fact and figure memorized.
I’m only half listening, busy imagining the space and how it would look. I’m trying to picture myself in here. How would I feel being part of the renovation, the owner of a hotel? Would it make me happy?
“And what are the plans for down here?” I ask.
Avril pulls out one of the huge sheets of paper and smooths her hands over it. “Here,” she says. “The main entrance would stay in the same place. This would be the lobby.”
I vaguely remember some of the things she said in her presentation. If I’d said yes to the hotel then, it wouldn’t have had anything to do with Avril’s vision for the space or the financials. I would have done it to make her happy.
“When you presented the financials, I wasn’t really thinking about whether I wanted to take on the project to make me happy.” I’m thinking aloud.
Avril stares at me as if I’ve just started reciting limericks.
“That’s not normally a consideration when I make a decision. About anything really.” I shove my hands into my pockets as I realize it’s true in other aspects of my life, too. “Even the brownstone. I bought it because it was close to my office and had enough space if you and Poppy wanted to live with me at any point.”
“I’m lost. Are you saying you don’t like your house?”
I pull in a breath as I think. “I’m saying I’ve never really thought about it. It fulfilled the criteria I set out, so I moved forward.”
“Worth, you have money. Why don’t you live somewhere you like?”
“I’m not saying I don’t like living at the brownstone. But if I had to start from scratch, would I pick that place?” I shrug. “Maybe.” It’s like I’ve unlocked a part of my brain I’ve only just discovered. I’m always so focused on whether something makes practical sense and whether it benefits the people I’m trying to make happy. I don’t think further than that.
“If there was something wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Avril says, her eyebrows drawing together. “Like if you were sick or something, you wouldn’t try to hide it from us, just to keep us from worrying?”
“I’m not sick,” I say with a smile. “I’m just… rearranging things.”
“But if anything was wrong, would you tell us?”
If she’d asked me a week ago, I wouldn’t have been able to answer the same way. “Yes,” I say.
“Because I know what you’re like. You’re a great big brother, but me and Poppy are adults now. You can’t shield us from everything that goes wrong in life.”
“You’re right. If I’m ever terminally ill, I’ll tell you.” I start to chuckle. “You can stop mentally making funeral arrangements. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
That’s not true. There’s plenty wrong with me. I miss Sophia like we’ve been together a decade and known each other our entire lives. Emptiness has burrowed into my chest, cold and vast, and I’m sure now that she’s gone, it will be there forever. I’ll have to live with this chasm inside me—an empty space where Sophia should be.
But I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because too many people count on me for me to just give up. What I didn’t realize before now is that I can count on them too.
“I want to have the final say on major decisions if we go ahead and do this.”
Avril’s eyes grow wide and then she squeals. “You’re considering it? For real?”
“Of course I’m considering it, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. But I’m not just doing it for you,” I say.
She nods. “Worth, it’s going to be a great investment and a family legacy.”
“I get that, but I want to make sure that overall, doing this is going to make me happy.”
She pauses. “So, will it?”
“I’m not sure.” Sophia made me happy, I know that much. Whatever she thought, my feelings for her weren’t about saving her. She was lovely. Being with her made me happy. “I’m going to have to sit with it for a while. But if you and Poppy are involved—”