Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
I slide my arm around his waist. “We’ve got each other,” I say, trying to be reassuring. I’m so pleased they’re here. I should have invited them sooner.
“Let’s agree that we always tell each other the truth,” Noah says, slipping two more pancakes onto the plate and turning to face us. “The three of us can be a family within a family. Nothing should come between us.”
Oliver agrees, but I can’t do anything but wince. I haven’t told them I’m married.
“There’s something you should know,” I say.
“Fucking hell,” Noah says. “You don’t have a secret family, do you?”
“No,” I say, but then I stop. Do I? “Not really,” I amend.
Two bulbous pairs of eyes stare at me.
“Let’s eat,” I say, pulling the stack of pancakes from the counter and slipping out of the kitchen. “Bring the plates and silverware and whatever toppings you bought, because I know I didn’t have anything in my pantry.”
“What pantry?” Noah asks.
“Exactly.”
I sit and serve up two pancakes on each plate. I’m going to need the carbs to energize me through this conversation.
“Spit it out, Sophia,” Oliver says.
“You know that guy that you met at the hospital?” I ask.
They both stare silently at me.
“Well, funny story, but he’s Jules’ husband’s bestie. We were all in Vegas for their wedding a few weeks ago. It was only the second time I’d met him and we just kinda ended up… sorta getting married.”
Noah drops his flatware and sits back in his chair. Oliver goes completely still.
“It’s not like we got married to be together or anything. It was kind of a joke and… now we’re dating because it turns out we like each other.”
“Jesus Christ,” Oliver says. “Can I just say for the record that my life is an open book? No wife stashed in a closet in my bedroom. No children, at least none that I know about. I’m not even really dating since Debbie moved to Florida. There’s nothing big in my life that you don’t know.”
Noah sighs and shakes his head. “Fuck, Sophia. Is he a good guy?”
“He’s talking to his lawyers about an annulment or divorce or something. It’s not like we’re going to be hosting Thanksgiving next year. But we’re dating, so conversations about getting divorced are weird… but yeah, he’s a good guy.”
“Can we meet him? Like properly?” Noah asks. “I don’t want to feel like I don’t know what’s going on in your life.”
I squeezed his arm. “You know what’s going on. I just think I was pissed at the institution of marriage and wanted to do something wild.”
“But you’re still seeing him,” Oliver says. “So can we meet him?”
My skin feels awkwardly tight and my head begins to hurt. “Maybe,” I say. “I just don’t want to give him the wrong signal by introducing him to my family.”
“He likes you more than you like him?”
I shake my head, because that’s not it. “No, more like… he’s in a place where he’s ready for his future. I just don’t think I am. I’m trying to come to terms with all these big feelings about my past, about our parents. And that’s where my energy is. It’s not at all that I don’t like him. I absolutely do. More than I’ve liked anyone. Ever. I like him so much that I can’t tell him anything but the truth. I can’t pretend I’m ready to move forward with him when I’m not.”
Oliver rubs my back, trying to comfort me. It’s the first time I’ve fully realized that Worth and I might not work out. It hurts.
“If he likes you, he’ll wait,” Oliver says. “Things will even out with Mom and Dad. We’ll come to a new normal at some point.”
“You think?” I say. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Did you ever know anything?” Noah asks with a wink.
“Only just slightly more than you.” I elbow him in the side.
“We’ll figure it out,” Oliver says, stuffing half a pancake in his mouth.
I’m glad he thinks so. The problem is, the foundation of our lives has been upturned. I’m not sure that’s something we can “figure out.” Any new normal that comes after what’s happened is going to be full of suspicion and bitterness. That’s what I’m most afraid of—that I’ll be suspicious of everyone, think everyone is lying, believe every man in my life is concocting a series of fairy tales for me to believe in, so they can manipulate situations to their benefit.
I’m done being lied to.
I’m done being manipulated.
I didn’t grow up the way I thought I did, and I’m just not sure how to deal with that.
“I know I’m not the guy who should be giving relationship advice,” Oliver says.
“That’s for sure,” Noah says. “You are horrible with women.”
“He’s horrible to women,” I correct him. “There’s a difference.”
“I’m not horrible to women,” Oliver says. “They just think I’m a liar. So when I tell them I only want something casual, they think I actually mean I want to get married and have babies.”