Total pages in book: 177
Estimated words: 163209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 816(@200wpm)___ 653(@250wpm)___ 544(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 163209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 816(@200wpm)___ 653(@250wpm)___ 544(@300wpm)
“Good,” Jeremy said, smiling at them in turn. “Nothing to worry about, then!”
“Put a jinx on the whole thing, why don’t you?” Cat lamented. “Go knock on wood.”
“Elsewhere,” Jean added pointedly.
Jeremy pushed away from the island. “Kevin and I are running up to the store real quick, then. Do we need anything?” He waited while Cat gave the fridge a cursory inspection and answered a negative, then caught Kevin’s eye and started for the door. They paused at the entrance to put their shoes back on. Kevin took the keyring from Jeremy after he’d locked the door behind him and inspected the Traveler keychain.
“I wish you’d come to USC. It would’ve been fun to play with you all these years.”
“I would not be me without Edgar Allan,” Kevin said, returning Jeremy’s keys. “Everything I am and have today is because I grew up at Evermore.”
“Up to and including the broken hand,” Jeremy said quietly as they set off. Kevin rubbed the back of his left hand and said nothing. Jeremy was loathe to kill the good mood they’d fostered in the kitchen, but with the Ravens on the table it was hard to resist. He drummed his hands against his thighs in a nervous beat before finally asking again, “Did you know about Grayson?”
Kevin didn’t hesitate. “All Ravens know a variation of the story.”
Don’t ask, Jeremy thought, but how could he not? “Did he ever—were you—?”
“They had no reason.” Kevin caught his poor wording even as Jeremy rounded on him. “That’s not what I meant,” he said with a grimace, and Jeremy stared him down as he searched for a better way to phrase it. “The Nest thrives on violence, but every punishment doled out is calculated and executed with purpose. Unsatisfactory times on drills, missed shots, failure to block a striker or failure to outstep a defenseman, there is always a triggering factor.”
Jeremy refused to listen to this. “There is nothing that justifies what happened to him.”
Kevin opened his mouth, thought better of it, and looked away. Jeremy honestly wasn’t sure what was worse: that the Ravens thought themselves right for hurting Jean so horrifically, or that Kevin knew what their excuse was. He felt ill as he demanded, “Why didn’t you say something this spring when they were tearing him apart?”
“Because I know better than to put Jean’s back to the wall.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You do,” Kevin said.
“The hell I do.”
“Jean cannot betray them. He doesn’t know how. He will always betray himself first. If I had spoken out this spring and accused Edgar Allan of fostering such abuse, Jean would have felt compelled to undermine me. He would have embraced the Ravens’ lies no matter how much it killed him to accept the blame. I have heard it before,” he insisted when Jeremy started to argue. “I will not listen to it again.”
Jeremy wanted so badly to refuse that. He thought of Jean flinching away from every mention of Coach Moriyama and Riko, of how easily and quickly and stridently he insisted he deserved everything that had happened to him. He thought of Jean’s haunted stare and hoarse, “You cannot save me from what came before, and you help neither of us by trying to dig up those graves.” It was so cruel Jeremy couldn’t breathe.
“You can’t tell me that not a single Raven would support him if he spoke the truth. I won’t believe that.”
“You don’t even know what his truth is,” Kevin said, frustration bleeding into his voice.
“I don’t care.” Jeremy waved that off with a sharp jerk of his hand. “He was sixteen.”
Kevin grimaced at him. “It’s the age of consent in West Virginia. Without a complaint, there is no crime, and there will never be a complaint.”
Jeremy had to walk away, but he didn’t get far. Kevin caught his arm to drag him to a stop. Jeremy yanked out of his grip to stare him down, but Kevin’s “Jeremy—” was followed only by miserable silence. Jeremy studied the tension in his expression and shadows in his eyes and knew Kevin was fighting to confide in him. Jeremy wasn’t sure which side he wanted to win. He didn’t want Kevin giving away Jean’s secrets, but he desperately wanted to understand the Ravens’ wretched mentality.
At last Kevin only said, “Silence is the only way Jean has a voice. He does not have to participate in his own downfall. It is not kind or fair, but it is the best we can do.”
“He deserves more than that,” Jeremy said. “You know he does.”
“He deserves peace. That’s why he’s here.”
“That’s not enough.”
“It is more than he has ever gotten.”
Jeremy studied him in silence. “And what about you?” he asked at length. “They’ve wronged you too, more than I think you’ve let on. A couple sly words in spring,” he said, tapping his fingers to the back of Kevin’s hand, “but nothing since then. I would’ve guessed it kindness, to avoid starting a fight while Edgar Allan grieved Riko’s death, but I don’t think that’s it anymore. You won’t fight them either, will you?”