Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 70510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
“You know that’s my favorite part.”
His fingers moved into the back of my hair, and he lightly played with the strands, the smile in his eyes fading the longer he looked at me. He studied my face like I was asleep, like he didn’t care that I was watching him do it.
I loved it when he looked at me like that. “So, how are things with your trials?”
“We had a patient with promising results.”
“Yeah? That’s great.”
He nodded. “He was in stage four, and now he’s nowhere near it. It hasn’t worked as well with other patients, but his progress is so significant that it can’t be a coincidence. We’re still in the observation phase, but I’m going to figure out why he responded the way he did but others didn’t.”
“That should be helpful.”
“If we can figure that out, then maybe we can figure out how to help everyone.”
“You know, this is a pretty big deal.”
“I know.”
“You just don’t act like it’s a big deal.”
His fingers continued to move through my hair. “I guess I’m still in shock. I’d always hoped that this would work, but I never actually expected to see a patient go from being on oxygen to feeling better than he has in decades. But your father and I went out for drinks after we realized the ramifications of our research. It was like four in the morning, and we hit one of the bars that was still open.”
“That’s cute. Had a little celebration.”
“Yep.”
“I’m happy for him. I know how personal this is to him. It’s as if he’s still fighting the clock to save his father.”
He gave a slight nod. “Yeah. It does seem that way.”
“Does he ever…ask you about us?”
“He doesn’t ask questions. But he did say we seem happy together.”
I was glad that my dad kept his word and didn’t share anything I’d told him. It seemed like there was no animosity either, that he cared for Atlas the same way. “Because we are.”
His eyes softened as he looked at me, but then they slowly hardened, releasing a breath at the same time.
I knew exactly what he was thinking.
He didn’t speak his mind, kept it to himself.
I didn’t ask, giving him the opportunity to share if he was ready.
But he stayed quiet.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
The question made him look away entirely.
“I won’t judge you. I just want to understand.”
He kept his eyes away. “It’s…complicated.”
“I’m pretty smart—as you already know.”
“It’s not complicated in that regard. I just…I’m still not sure what to do about this.”
“What’s this?”
“Us.”
My hand grabbed his face and forced him to look at me again. “There’s nothing to do. We’re already us. We will always be us.” I didn’t even realize I was capable of saying those things until I’d found the man that I wanted. Now I wasn’t going to let him go, not without a fight. “I know you’ve been married, but I’ve never felt this way before—”
“Neither have I.”
“Then why won’t you just tell me?”
He kept his gaze blank, his jaw tightening slightly.
“Atlas?”
He pulled his hand away, his body going cold.
“This…this is the reason you got divorced, isn’t it?”
He didn’t say a word, but that was a loud answer.
I sat there, unsure what to say. It was like a punch to the gut.
“Yes.”
The answer was worse than the assumption because if he was willing to lose his wife over this issue, why would I be any different?
“I want to ask you something. And be honest.” He scooted to the edge of the couch, his forearms moving to his knees.
My heart started to pound—like a goddamn drum.
“Can you picture your life without children?”
I moved to the edge of the couch so I could look at the side of his face.
“Would I be enough for you?” His voice was deep and emotionless, like a chasm far underground, an echo of nothingness.
“Atlas—”
“Answer the question.”
“No, I can’t picture a life without children.” My parents had three kids, Derek had three kids, and I wanted to have three kids too. I’d have to take time off work because I didn’t want someone else raising my kids, but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
He had no reaction. “Then that settles it.”
“It settles nothing.” My voice broke through the dam of my teeth, coming out like a blow of a horn. “Why aren’t you at least willing to consider it?”
He started to massage his knuckles.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
He rose to his feet, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked away.
“Atlas.”
“I think you should go.”
How did this go to shit so quickly? We were just happy minutes ago, and now he was ready to throw me out again. I got to my feet and stared him down, squaring my shoulders like we were about to fight. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me whatever it is you’re hiding. Because I fucking love you, and I’m not going to stop loving you when I walk out the door. You’re the man I’m supposed to be with—”