Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
I swallowed. “Okay.”
“Let’s talk about the time when Delirious Jones started hitting it big. You said that was when your relationship with Nicole began to deteriorate…”
“Yeah.” I sucked in a breath and repositioned myself in the seat. “A couple of our songs went viral, and suddenly everyone was listening to our other stuff, too. We just blew up overnight. Or at least, it felt that way. Our manager set up our first multi-city tour soon thereafter, and everything started happening really fast.”
“What stage of your marriage were you in at the time?”
“Nicole and I had been married for about five years. We were living in Brooklyn at the time. Tristan and Ronan lived in New York back then, too, so we were all there. Nicole had built a big clientele in the city with her hairstyling. She’d been making all the money while I was a struggling musician.”
She nodded. “So that part changed almost overnight, too.”
“Right. I was suddenly making more money than we’d ever dreamed of. But Nicole loved her job and was taking steps to open her own salon. I didn’t want her to give up her dream just because mine was coming to fruition. When I had to go on tour for the first time, she stayed behind to continue working. I thought that was the right decision because she would’ve lost everything if she’d dropped it all to come on the road with me. Back then, the tour amenities weren’t what they are now, either. We mainly stayed on the bus—no hotels the break things up. It wouldn’t have been comfortable for her. I didn’t want her to give up her life to sleep in a bunk for months.”
“So she stayed back, and you went on your first adventure…”
I nodded. “Yeah, and it was harder than I ever imagined. The distance really tested us.”
“Were you loyal?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes. I’ve never cheated on Nicole.”
“Okay…” She paused. “So tell me more about why it was hard.”
“We argued a lot. Just about the future. What was best for us…”
“She didn’t want you to continue your music career?”
I shook my head. “No, that wasn’t the issue. It was more like…she started expressing concern about whether us being married was the right thing, in light of my new life. She never discouraged my career, just the opposite. She’s always been my biggest cheerleader. But her doubts about us wrecked me. I’d get off the phone with her and my performance would be shitty. Or at least what I considered shitty. Our fans don’t tend to notice the difference. I was ready to quit, though. But Nicole wouldn’t let me. She kept saying how hard I’d worked to get where I was.”
“How long was the tour?”
“Only a few months, but she knew it wouldn’t end there. She knew my life would never be the same, that our lives as we knew them had changed. She pushed me away slowly—until one day she admitted that she didn’t think she could do it. She didn’t think she could be a rockstar’s wife.” I shut my eyes.
“So she asked for the divorce?”
I nodded. “I would’ve left the band if it came down to a choice between Nicole or my career. But again, she refused to let me give it up. Refused to give me a choice. She sent the message loud and clear by filing the papers.”
“That must have been quite a shock. Where were you when you got them?”
“It was right after the tour. She waited until I got home. I think she truly believed it was best for me not to have the pressure of a marriage. Maybe she felt like we’d made a rash decision when we eloped and I might’ve chosen differently if I’d known what was gonna happen with the band.”
“Is that true?”
“Fuck no. But maybe she would’ve chosen differently.” I leaned my head back on the seat. “I didn’t understand how she could give up on us. Her filing put me in a really bad place. But even then, I knew it was about more than just me. Nicole has trust issues.”
“In what way?”
“Her father. He cheated on her mother, had a long-term girlfriend no one knew about. That really messed with Nicole’s head. She found out when she was twenty-two, shortly after we got married. So the emotional wounds were still fresh. Deep down, I know her decision had to do with her father, even if she never wanted to talk about it.”
Dr. Jensen nodded. “So it was maybe partly trauma from her past and partly that she felt like she was holding your career back by staying married to you?”
I nodded. “But no matter the reasoning, she was wrong to ever think I was better off without her. I’ve proven that in the years since. I’m all kinds of fucked up now, and I’m unhappy every day that we’re apart.” My head was starting to hurt.