Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
“There’s a cock made out of rocks in Kansas?” Lindsay asked. “Tristan, you should have invited us to visit.”
“Trust me, it’s not what you’re thinking,” I said. “And Blue, let’s just say I hope you’re ready to swim.”
“I think Tristan’s on a not-so-secret mission to get you to move out here to Colorado, too, you know,” Dad said to Jack jokingly.
My heart hammered in my chest as he said it. Having it said out loud still made me a little uneasy, especially from my dad, who was blissfully unaware of all of the feelings I’d just unloaded to Shawn and Lindsay.
I waved a hand through the air. “Blue can do whatever he wants. I’m not here to convince him of things, I’m here to show him a good time.”
Jack shrugged a shoulder, still looking out over the landscape, seemingly lost in thought. “I don’t know. I can’t deny I’ve been falling more and more in love every moment I spend here.”
If my heart was jackhammering before, now it felt like it was doing backflips in my chest.
Do not get your hopes up. Not for something that good. People say things sometimes, but moving to another state is a big fucking deal.
“Well, you’re definitely going to move here after seeing Big Rock Cove,” Dad said to Jack casually. I said a silent prayer of thanks that Dad was such a chummy, friendly guy—he couldn’t sense tension to save his life, and he’d broken the bubble of pure, anxious hope that was building up inside me.
“I call shotgun,” I said, grabbing a beach towel that Nathan handed to me. I crossed over to the van, hopping in the passenger seat.
Lindsay, Shawn and Jack went to grab a few things from inside, and soon they were piling into the back of the van.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had wanted something as badly as I wanted Jack to come with me to Colorado. But a long time ago, I had learned that it was better not to want anything that badly.
Because I was only going to be in for a world of hurt when it didn’t happen.
I had learned my lesson by now. At least I hoped I had.
By the time we got to Big Rock Cove, the tension inside of me had built back up until it felt almost unbearable. I couldn’t look at Jack without wanting to blurt out every little feeling I had inside me, and that was exactly the thing I was trying not to do.
I was so damn ready to dive in. When we got out of the van, I saw the beautiful surging waterfall and the sunlight glimmering on the serene pool of water below. Another family was leaving right as we arrived, so miraculously, we had the place to ourselves.
Finally I got the jolt of adrenaline that I’d been searching for all morning. Now more than ever, I just wanted to take the plunge.
I ripped off everything but my swim trunks, ran for it, and cannonballed right off the low rock ledge into the cold, refreshing water.
9
JACK
I could tell that something was off about Tristan this morning. It had been there all day, since breakfast, and by now, it was like he could barely look me in the eye. His discomfort radiated out from his body language, and the moment we got to the waterfall, he basically ran off from the rest of us and jumped in.
The only thing I could imagine was that finally, last night, shit had gotten too weird for Tristan. I went over and over the night’s events in my brain, trying to figure out where it went wrong. He had seemed so into it—he’d even told me, more than once, just how much he’d enjoyed hooking up with me.
Early this morning, when I’d woken up next to Tristan stupidly early, my body was coursing with disbelief, excitement, and a little bit of fear. The only thing that had been running through my mind was how incredible last night had been.
And that for the first time in my entire life, I was considering—just a little bit—the idea of leaving Kansas.
Not seriously considering it, of course. It felt insane to think that being in Colorado for such a short time with Tristan could influence my decision making that much. But the idea of moving away had now been planted like a seed, and it was growing, slowly but surely. For my whole life, people had even made jokes about me being Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, saying that I was such a small-town Kansas boy and that I’d be lost if I ever left. And over time, I’d adopted that identity, too.
I loved my old small Kansas town. Sure, it was all plains and cows and grassy fields and tractors, for the most part. But it was also home to me. Home to endless memories of my father, memories I’d never be able to replace. And home to the house he’d left me, that was like a physical piece of my heart.