Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 114368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
I shook my head. “I left everything behind for this. I want this. I chose to walk away from my job for us. I’m giving up my career because I want this. I want you. I want us. You can’t do this to us, Mi. This is our first chance to really be an us, and you can’t throw that away,” I cried out.
I was confused, hurt, and shattering. Months ago, I walked in on my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and it hurt me. Not because of him cheating but because it threw a wrench into what I thought my life was supposed to be. But looking back, everything had to happen as it had. Otherwise, I would’ve never met Milo. We were meant to be, and I knew it. Because if we weren’t, I wouldn’t be feeling the overwhelming pain I was facing. It wouldn't hurt this bad if he wasn’t the one for me.
I needed Milo to hear me. To listen to my words, to hear my pain. “Please, Mi…please. We’re doing so great.” I pulled his hands into mine so he could feel me. He needed to feel my warmth, feel my soul seeping into his.
How could he do what he was doing? How could he turn his back on me when we were finally able to be who we wanted to be, what we wanted to be—together.
“I know, I know,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I just…I don’t think I’m good for you.”
“You don’t think you’re good for me? What? Of course, you’re good for me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You don’t see yourself, Star. I do, okay? I do. I see you throwing everything away because of me. You aren’t acting like yourself anymore. You hardly do your homework, and you don’t go to class. Half the time, you act like you don’t want to be a teacher anymore.”
“So what if I don’t? That’s fine. I’ll become something else.”
“See what I mean? You’re not thinking straight. You’re so focused on making sure I’m okay that you’re forgetting about your whole life.”
My mouth parted to respond, yet my mind was too jumbled to form my next words. I felt insane as I stood in front of him. The number of tears falling from my eyes sent a wave of embarrassment through my system because he wasn’t feeling the aches of heartbreak as deeply as I’d been. He wasn’t falling apart in the same fashion as I was.
You idiot, I thought to myself.
How could I have been so naive? I thought what was between us was real, but clearly, it was a one-way street of true feelings, and I was the driver behind the wheel.
He didn’t feel for me the way I’d felt for him. It wasn’t possible.
If he had, he wouldn’t have been able to let me go so easily.
“You made love to me last night, Milo,” I cried as I shoved my hand against his chest. “You made love to me knowing you were going to break my heart in the morning, didn’t you?” He paused. I shoved him again. “Didn’t you?”
His voice cracked. “Starlet…”
“No!” I shouted, shoving him again. And again. And again. He took every shove as if he deserved it. My tears fell relentlessly, my pain causing my body to want to quit.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, grabbing my wrists to stop my swings. I didn’t even care because I didn’t want to hit him. I wanted to love him and him to love me back.
“I’m so sorry, Starlet,” he softly said.
He used my full name again.
He wasn’t going to take it back.
He wasn’t going to change his mind.
He didn’t want to be with me, so he let me go.
I pulled my wrists away from his hold, realizing that the story I thought we were finally beginning wouldn’t be a full-length novel. We were nothing more than a short story; he wrote the end before we explored our first chapter.
“Please don’t,” I begged. “Please don’t throw me away.”
“I hope one day you can understand where I’m coming from,” he pleaded, those brownish-green eyes staring deep into my soul.
I looked him dead in the eyes, too, hoping he could see how he hurt me and understand the words that were about to fly from my mouth. “Fuck you, Milo Corti. I hope I never see you again.”
I walked into the dorm room, feeling like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I didn’t know love could do that…slice open every piece of one’s soul and still allow them to continue through life as if they weren’t the walking dead.
“Hi, roomie,” Whitney stated from her bed, glancing over her shoulder. She was wrapped in a blanket, watching a reality show, which she quickly shut off.
“Hi, roomie,” I replied, dropping my keys on to my desk.