Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 68688 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68688 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
“Then what is the problem?” He continued to speak to me in a vicious tone, like I was the one in the wrong when he wouldn’t respect my boundaries.
“I told you I’m not ready for anything serious, and you’re going around telling people that I’m your woman.”
“You are my woman,” he snapped. “You fuck my brains out and hold on to me all night like I’m your goddamn teddy bear. Is it normal for you to go around town and fuck random guys without wearing anything if you aren’t their woman?”
“No—”
“Have you fucked anyone else since we met?”
I couldn’t even imagine it. “No…”
His stare pierced mine for several hard seconds. “Do you want me to sleep with other people?”
I refused to answer, refused to dig this hole deeper.
“Your poker face is shit, you know that?” He clenched his jaw tighter when I didn’t answer. But then it slowly relaxed, his eyes shifting back and forth between mine as he read me like words on a white page. “You’re scared.”
My lungs sucked in a gulp of air, his fingers finding the wound and digging deep.
“I’m not him.”
My eyes flicked away, the button to my trigger tapped.
“I’m not him.”
I was forced to look at him again, gripped by the power of his voice.
“I understand you’re coming out of a long-term relationship that ended in a dumpster fire. I understand you haven’t had time to heal everything he’s broken. But I’m not asking you to marry me or move in with me or do anything you don’t want to do. But I won’t be disrespected either. You’re either in this with me, or I’m gone.”
I swallowed because the idea of losing him was devastating.
His eyes shifted back and forth between mine. “I’m your man—and you’re my fucking woman. Period. Do you understand me?” His ruthless eyes continued to burn into mine with the viciousness of a mountain lion.
“I—I don’t want to get hurt again.” Self-loathing washed over me, hating myself for allowing myself to be weak in front of another person. I only showed the depth of my despair to myself—and myself alone.
He sheathed his tone slightly. “I would never hurt you, sweetheart.”
“You’re dangerous. You kill people. You’re not the kind of man to commit to a woman for long. You aren’t the kind of man to get married or have children—”
“You’re making a lot of assumptions.”
“Am I wrong? I saw you in that bar, and I wanted you. And you’ve been the greatest high I’ve ever known. I’ve wanted time to stand still so we can be this way forever, but I know it can’t stay like this and it’s going to end and I don’t want to get my hopes up. So when you say shit like I’m your woman, you’re just making it harder—”
“Why does it have to end?”
“Because you’re going to get tired of me and replace me with someone else. Because you’ll meet a girl at a bar, and I’ll disappear from your mind. You’ll tell me how much I mean to you and then turn around and stick your dick in someone else.” I felt the hot tears in the back of my eyes, feeling so fucking worthless, feeling all the damage Adrien had caused. “And then I’ll be crushed again, crushed more than I am right now. It’s just easy to keep things casual, to make sure that I have no expectations, that I don’t trust you, so you can’t hurt me the way he crushed me.” The tears came and slipped down my cheeks, and I was fucking humiliated.
“Sweetheart.” His voice was gentle like a fall breeze. His hands were on me, one on my cheek so his thumb could wipe the fallen tear. His lips caught the other while he buried his hand in my hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”
I kept my eyes closed and grabbed his wrist with both hands, remembering the night he’d come to the bar and held my hand and said the same words. As long as my eyes shut out the world, I wouldn’t have to face it. I could hide until it went away.
He waited for me to look at him again on my own. “Sweetheart.”
“I—I’m not ready to be in a relationship.”
“Look at me.”
“No…”
“I know how brave you are,” he said quietly. “Look at me.”
I took a breath before I opened my eyes, feeling how wet they were when they were exposed to the air.
He continued to look down at me, his eyes soft and kind. “If I walked away right now and took someone else home, would it hurt you?”
Just the thought made my heart drop into my stomach. I couldn’t answer the question with words, so I just nodded.
“Then it’s too late to turn back,” he said. “So, be with me.”
I’d ended up in the corner I tried to evade—and I was fucking terrified.