Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 54630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
The words finally had him noticing the contents on her tray: a bowl of his favorite cereal, two slices of toast, a cup of steaming coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. His kind of breakfast in other words.
He opened his mouth to refuse, but when he saw a determinedly bright smile form on her lips, he knew Mary was already preparing herself for rejection.
“Of course,” Rathe heard himself saying instead.
Mary’s eyes widened, unable to believe what she was hearing. Had he really agreed to spend time with her? After being treated almost like she didn’t exist in the past few days, the words made her afraid to hope.
Flushing at the visible surprise on Mary’s face, he gestured to the smaller dining area to their right and asked stiffly, “Shall we have it there?”
“Y-yes.” She couldn’t keep happiness from seeping into her voice, couldn’t help smiling widely when Rathe took his tray from her.
When they went to the dining room and Rathe seated himself at the head of the table, he glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.
She blinked in bemusement. “D-do you want something else?”
Rathe frowned. “Aren’t we supposed to be eating together?”
“Oh.” She had been so happy he had agreed to spend time with her she forgot all about getting her own meal. Blushing, she stammered, “I...I’ll be right back.”
Rathe watched Mary dash out of the room as if it was the utmost importance she came back to his side right away. Guilt stung him, Rathe knowing fully well why she was acting so.
Ever since their return from London, he had found himself avoiding her. Distancing himself. Protecting himself.
That time she had chosen not to accompany him to the ball, it had been like a slap to his face, forcing him to see things the way they truly were. And the reality was that he needed to re-learn how to live without her.
Mary’s smile faded when she returned to the dining room. Even without Rathe saying a word, she knew, she sensed that he had changed. That he had gone back to being the Duke of Flanders, a man completely out of reach.
Despite it, she persisted, taking the seat next to him, carrying her own tray of breakfast with her.
Her heart sank a little when she saw that he was almost done with his. “Y-you want another serving?” she asked hopefully.
“I don’t think so.” Seeing her still gazing at him, Rathe added, “Everything tastes delicious, though.”
The compliment made her face feel like a frozen mask. She almost wished he had growled or snapped at her instead. She hated the way he treated her so civilly nowadays. It was as if Rathe saw her as someone no different from all the other people he kept at a polite distance.
When Rathe was done, he glanced at Mary and noticed that her entire meal was untouched. The sight had guilt stinging his conscience once more. His jaw clenched, knowing he should ask her about it. But in the end, he said nothing, his heart refusing to lay itself open to more pain in the future.
When he stood up, she did the same.
“Thank you for this.” His voice was even stiffer now.
“It w-was my pleasure.” She stepped forward, but his next words had her faltering.
“I appreciate it, but you do not need to go through the trouble next time.”
“I...see.” Didn’t that mean he wanted to make sure they spent the least amount of time together? She fumbled for something to hold on to, and was relieved to find a chair close enough for her to clutch. It was better to play it safe, the way her knees threatened to buckle under her.
When she was sure she would be able to move without falling, she did so, intending to kiss him goodbye but just as her lips reached him, he turned sideways, and her lips touched his cheek instead.
A soft cry escaped her.
Rathe cursed under his breath at the sound. “Mary—-”
She panicked at the sound of her name, a part of her terrified that he would say something she wasn’t ready to hear. “I’m s-sorry, okay? If I had known...” She choked back a sob. “If I h-had k-known it w-would make y-you so angry when I d-didn’t go with you—-”
His gaze turned opaque at the words, his expression becoming shuttered. “It didn’t make me angry,” Rathe muttered savagely. “It made me...” He stopped himself from speaking, furious that he had almost exposed more of his vulnerability.
It had made him damn weak, and that was what he could not accept. That he was thirty four years old, and yet one night without her at his side had made him lonely as hell. Terrified.
What if Mary one day realized she could live without him – the way he apparently couldn’t live without her anymore?
“Leave it,” Rathe said finally. “It’s a thing of the past.”