Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
“Let’s not dance around this, please.”
“You said that you did somethin’ bad in Vegas a long time ago, and that your grandfather was a wicked man… and there were bits about him findin’ out. You said you started your life over. I tried to put two and two together.” She shrugged.
“What two and two? Tell me what you think I did?”
She slowly turned away, grabbed a piece of gold thread, and with one eye closed, she eased it through the tiny hole. “That you cheated at one of those casinos. You somehow found a way to win big. You didn’t say how you did it, but it was clear that whatever you’d done, it set a lot of things in motion.”
“Okay, so you know. Just like I assumed you did.” He sighed. “That wasn’t delirium talkin’. Or grief. Or craziness. It was the truth. I know you realize it was the truth based on what you said to me at the hospital, but I just needed to hear it from you. I’m not going to ask you anything further about that—don’t want you to incriminate yourself in any kind of way. Just know that the statute of limitations has expired for the crime, but I still will have to face the music, in my own way.”
“What do you mean by that?” She gingerly took a clear bead out of a container and threaded it, too.
“I will have to face the consequences. Now, I’m not going to play any games with you, or make this like it was some great epiphany. That information has fallen into the wrong hands. I have a plan though. My karma may not be legal, but it will be happening. When it does, I don’t know the end result, but you have the right to know.”
“Does that scare you?” Her voice broke with a fracture of fragility.
“I don’t like not knowin’ what’s going on, Genesis.” He shrugged. “What’s hidden and out of sight. It’s caused me to control my environment as much as humanly possible. I control who is in my circle. I control the information I give—my social media is limited, my address is private, I don’t go online usin’ Google, or anything like that, without a VPN. I don’t discuss my private life with most folks, ’cept Tony, my dad, and a couple of my cousins. I’m funny about my money. No one but me knows exactly what I have in what accounts, and where. It’s not that I want to be tightlipped, but the less people know your personal affairs, the better. At least the better for me.” He pointed to himself, glanced at his closed laptop and clasped his fingers, a certain heaviness sitting on his thumping heart.
“I need a sense of wellbeing. One that I’ve created and have complete control over. I need to protect myself and the people I care for.” She nodded in understanding. “I need to know every turn, every corner, every edge of my life so I can navigate it even in the pitch dark. Surprises piss me off.” He leaned forward and grabbed a glass of white wine that he’d been nursing the last two hours. He took a stingy sip. When it swam across his tongue, he noted how different it tasted from just seconds prior. It went from being smooth and delicious to tart and bitter. He surmised it was all in his mind. The flavor of his mood.
“Roman.”
“Yes?”
“But we can’t control and predict everything. There’s other people in this world, and we can’t read their minds or accurately calculate their every move.”
“I don’t want to control and predict everyone else’s world, or their response to my world, baby. I want to shepherd myself, and anyone who I love who flocks around me.” Her opaque eyes displayed a hint of disbelief. “Have you ever heard of the eleven United States Marine Corps leadership principles?”
“No, I haven’t.” She carefully placed her partially constructed bracelet to the side, leaned back on her palms, and crossed her ankles, giving her full attention.
“This is how I live my life. I use these rules to help navigate it. When you grow up without a sense of direction, structure helps immensely. I received that in the Marines. The eleven USMC leadership principles are as follows: Know yourself and seek progress. Secondly, be industrially and strategically capable. Third, know your fellow Marines, and look out for their wellbeing. Fourth, keep your personnel informed. This is the one that I slightly modify for my civilian life. If it can possibly or will for a fact affect the people I love, I tell them. It’s about probabilities for me. Anything over a twenty-five percent probability that any information can affect them in a negative fashion, then I disclose it. That’s why we’re talking right now.”