The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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I heard shuffling, a yawn, and then Laney sounded a little more awake. “Okay. Are we talking about a toothpick or a miner's ax?”

I grinned. Even half-asleep, Laney could always get a smile out of me. “I’ve got myself in a bit of a situation.” I spent the next few minutes unloading everything. Laney already knew I was planning to take a break from dating, but I hadn’t told a soul about my little agreement with Pearl.

“Wow,” Laney said once I’d gotten her up to date. “That is pretty hare-brained, even by your standards.”

“It sounded like a good idea at the time.”

“You mean when you just had your heart torn out and weren’t thinking straight? That’s usually why you shouldn’t make big decisions right after a break up.”

“Yeah, noted for the next time I get cheated on. I’ll wait at least three days before I hire a fake girlfriend.”

“The thing I don’t get is why you thought you needed a fake girlfriend. Did you really think me and those two would try to set you up with someone if you didn’t want it?” Those two meant Pierce and Damon.

“At the time, I think that’s what I told myself. Maybe I was actually more worried I’d go back on the plan if I didn’t have something holding me accountable. Maybe it was fake, but it was a relationship of sorts. And I don’t cheat. So my little deal with Pearl kept me on the straight and narrow. I wasn’t even flirting.”

“You realize you’re too good for all these women who have let you down, right?”

Typical Laney. She only saw the best in me, and I loved her for it. “Pearl is different,” was all I said.

“Wait.” I could hear the alarm in Laney’s voice, and immediately regretted what I just said.

“I just mean–”

“No,” Laney cut me off. “I heard something just then. Is that my big, stupid brother falling for someone?”

“I’ve fallen for people before. But that’s not what happened here.”

“That’s why you’re calling me. You set up this fake thing and now you have real feelings. Right?”

“No.” I sighed, pacing with the phone in my hand as I wondered why the hell I did call. I wasn’t about to tell my little sister I just had the best sex of my life. Sex that was supposed to cure me of my obsession with Pearl, but it had done the exact opposite. Now I was terrified of what would happen if I let things keep going down this path. “I’m just tired of not telling anyone. That’s all.”

“Look, I know you’re not going to admit the full truth to me right now. I doubt you’re even admitting it to yourself. But listen to me. You are an amazing person, okay? You are always putting other people first. You make everybody fall in love with you, even if you don’t realize it. You’re just magnetic like that. I don’t know anything about this girl, except that her heart was broken. Same as yours. But I do know if she has been spending time with you, she’s probably already falling for you, no matter what she promised herself. And if she’s got you calling me in the middle of the night, then she’s important to you. So, take your little vow to swear off relationships and shove it. Give her a chance. That’s my advice.”

“Thanks, Laney,” I said, knowing I didn’t plan to do any of what she’d suggested. “I should let you go. You probably have tests or some shit tomorrow.”

“I do, actually. And I love you, stupid.”

I grinned. “Love you too, shrimp.”

I ended the call and raked a hand through my hair. Sometimes life presented two doors. One was labeled “dumb choice” and the other was labeled “smart choice.” And sometimes? Sometimes you had to open the dumb door and walk that path.

I ended up wandering down to the hotel lobby around two in the morning after my call with Laney. I spotted Pearl at the hotel bar. There was a big glass of what I thought was ice water in front of her. She was chatting with the lady behind the bar. I felt a guilty tug of relief to see she wasn’t talking to any men.

I took a deep breath and decided we had to put some kind of lid on what just happened. In typical “me” fashion, I approached with absolutely no plan, hoping my ability to wing it would pull through like it usually did. All I knew was my goal. I wanted us to agree to a cease fire. No more casual sex. No more flirtation. We could just agree to handle this the way she said she wanted. Like partners in crime, minus all the sexual tension.

I took the stool beside her. “Hey,” I said.

The bartender bulged her eyes at Pearl, silently asking some kind of question. “Is that him?” was what I guessed she was thinking.


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