Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 37(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 11130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 37(@300wpm)
“Nothing’s plaguing my soul,” he says. “I’m good.”
I frown, swallowing before I insist, “No, you had something on your mind, or you wouldn’t have told me to go first. Come on, spill it. I don’t want to be the selfish friend who only talks about her problems.” I point a warning finger at his face. “Don’t make me be that friend, Sam.”
His lips curve, but his eyes don’t join in the smile the way they usually would. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. I’m thinking about applying to schools overseas, is all.”
My hand drops back into my lap. “Oh. Wow. Like where overseas?”
“Maybe Europe,” he says with a shrug. “Maybe Singapore. They’re supposed to have a really great computer science program.”
“Oh,” I say again, proving I’m way better with code than I am with words. I brush my sticky fingers on my shorts and nod. “Well, that’s cool. And brave. I’m ready to leave home, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure I’m ready to go that far.”
“I just feel like I could use a break from my usual routine,” he says, studying my face in a way that makes me feel even more self-conscious about the selfish things I’m thinking.
I nod again, “Yeah, for sure. I just…” I shrug. “Well, I’d miss you. I guess I always thought we’d still see each other on holiday breaks and stuff, but if you’re in Singapore…”
“I wouldn’t be able to come home very often,” he says, confirming my fears. “It would be too far. And too expensive. Scholarships cover school costs, not travel expenses.”
“That makes sense,” I say, frowning as the words emerge. “But does it really? Why aren’t travel expenses included? Isn’t flying home to visit your friends and family, AKA the people who help keep you sane and able to study all the time, also part of a complete education? Aren’t we supposed to balance work and life or study and life or…whatever? I think you should talk to the financial aid people about that when you’re negotiating. Because you know you’re going to be able to negotiate. You are so bonkers smart, every university in the world is going to be fighting over you, so don’t be afraid to play dirty to get what you want.”
Sam smiles. “You’re really going to miss me, aren’t you?”
I snort. “No. I’m going to be super busy trying to talk my way out of the mental institution and stuff. Going to have way too much on my plate to miss you.”
“You’re not going to end up in a mental institution. Your parents wouldn’t do that to you. And if they did, I’d come break you out.”
“Promise?” I snag another marshmallow, tossing it into my mouth.
“Promise, though you’ll have to drive the getaway car. You know I get nervous at speeds over fifty miles per hour.”
“That’s only because you haven’t practiced enough. Once you get the hang of it, going fast is fun.”
“So, I’ve heard,” he says, reaching up to swipe his thumb across my chin. He holds it up in front of me, showing a smear of sticky white. “Marshmallow.”
“I’m such a pig,” I say, oddly breathless for some reason.
“You really are,” he says, popping his thumb in his mouth and licking the sticky away, triggering some kind of meltdown across the surface of my skin.
I’m not exactly sure what’s happening to me, only that it reminds me of when I used to watch Mulder and Scully’s first kiss in The X-Files series, over and over again, the instant after you jump into cold water, and having a low-grade fever, all rolled into one.
And then Sam says, “tastes better off your chin,” and my heart cannonballs into my stomach.
“I shouldn’t eat any more,” I say, my voice tight as I push the bag of marshmallows his way.
“Sugar shock?”
I shake my head. “No, I think I might be getting sick. I feel…weird.”
But I’m not getting sick. I might be completely inexperienced—I haven’t even had my first kiss let alone my first anything else—but I know what this feeling is.
It’s longing
AKA lust.
CHAPTER SIX
Jess
Yep, this is lust, all right.
And considering I’m not the type who gets horny for trees or chipmunks and Sam’s the only other human around, that can only mean one thing—I’m lusting after my best friend.
I’m lusting after Sam, the boy I’ve seen snort orange soda out of his nose at least twice and who went through a “not super serious about showering” phase when we were twelve. (Though, to be fair, I was also going through the same phase and once went three weeks without soap before I finally remembered to ask my mom to buy more for my bathroom.)
But still!
I have seen this boy at his grossest and silliest.
But you’ve also seen him at his sweetest and his best and you know you love him. You’ve loved him forever. Would it be so crazy if that love got a little more…tingly now that you’re all grown up?