Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 138274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
“And I think you need to start. Resolve to Evolve is a movement. It’s helped that many people.”
“Is that the best they could do with the tagline?” Nalla looked over her shoulder. “Get real.”
“There’s a conference coming to Caldwell soon and I’m thinking of going to it. Well, the evening sessions, at least.”
Nalla walked out into her bedroom and tried to keep her voice level. “I can’t believe I need to tell you this, but personal growth isn’t something you can pay for and it doesn’t come from YouTube videos you sit back and watch. You need to do the work yourself—and conference? Come on, you’re not going to find your life path at some Hyatt Regency ballroom surrounded by humans eating rubber-chicken entrées and taking selfies with that woman. You’re also not going to find it at a club downtown where the IQ per square inch is lower than the body count at the bar, and the people you’re going there to meet are a bunch of pretentious, dagger-sniffing partiers.”
Bitty frowned. “Do you know how negative you sound?”
“I’m not negative, I’m honest.” She went over to her closet and opened the double doors. “I’m just telling the truth here. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Even if it’s to that club tonight. Just don’t hide behind a talking head’s prepared speech or think they’re going to make everything a-okay. Go because you want to see the circus, and then be done with it when you’re reminded of how much not fun you have around half-naked drunk people.”
From the built-in drawers, she took out some underwear and put them on under the towel. Then she bra’d up and tossed on a t-shirt and leggings. Even though the central heating was on, she added a black sweatshirt for insulation because there was something about January in upstate New York that made the indoors cold. Even the subterranean indoors.
“I say we hit the Spider-Man movie. There’s nothing at that club for us—” Nalla stopped as she pivoted around. “Why are you putting your coat on?”
“I’m going to leave.”
“You just got here.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow on shift—”
“Bitty.” Nalla put her palms forward, all hold-up. “Wait, you’re offended? Seriously.”
“I’m not sure what to say to that.”
The other female’s eyes roamed around the photographs of nature scenes that Nalla had hung on the walls: A waterfall in the rain forest. An island in the Pacific. A beach in Spain with the sun at the horizon.
Bitty shook her head. “I just know I’m not happy and I am going to do something about it.”
“Does this have to do with L.W.?”
That stare whipped over faster than a gunshot. “God, no. Why would you say that?”
Well, reasons. “Fine, since when are you not happy?”
“Awhile now.”
Nalla nodded at the phone held so tightly in her friend’s hand. “When did you start listening to that woman?”
“You think because I’m interested in waking up within my own life, I’m getting corrupted by her or something?”
“This is just really out of nowhere. You love your job at Safe Place, working with the residents—”
“This isn’t about what I do, it’s about who I am.” She motioned around the room. “This can’t be all there is to life. I highly recommend you listen to her—”
“I am not about to be preached at by the interpersonal equivalent of an MLM, who’s packaged like a savior. I’ll take the real thing, not the marketing gimmick, thank you very much.”
Bitty looked away. Looked back. “No, you’re just going to keep being angry at your father, and stay here all night, stewing in frustration and staring at pictures you lifted off the Internet of places you will never go.”
Nalla felt her mouth fall open. “I’m sorry, what did you just say.”
“You can’t have it both ways. Either you’re not meeting someone because the great Zsadist will fucking kill anybody who dates you, or you’re too scared to put yourself out there and try to make a life with a partner of your own. But if the latter’s where it’s at, don’t talk to me anymore about how you’re on lockdown and you hate it, and don’t belittle me for trying to do something for myself.”
“I do not need a male, thank you very much. And if I did, the kind of mate I would want wouldn’t be hanging out down at Bathe with that bunch of hard-drinking assholes.”
“They’re more than that—”
Nalla pointed to the phone. “Is this what evolving means? You contort yourself and take up alcohol so you can find a mate? Great message—and you have to pay for it, I’m sure. If you want to rethink anything in your life, it’s what you’re watching on that fucking screen.”
Bitty shook her head. “The fact that you’re reducing and closing mind to the group of males and females you and I grew up with shows how much you need help.”